Meet Thoth, Dragon-Muse of Balance

Ruth here, but just to introduce a new Dragon to the Dragon Muses! Meet Aizaidor Thoth Aenguishelm (try saying that three times really fast).

Aizaidor (eye-zye-door) Thoth (toth) Aenguishelm (anguish-elm), (he goes by his middle name, Thoth), was particularly hard to name for a couple of reasons.  Thoth had come to be my muse over a YEAR ago, but since I wasn't doing much writing then, I told him he could wait to tell me his name.  Over that year, I listened to his faint whispers and kind of learned a little about who this Dragon was, and what he might bring to the writing team.  It wasn't easy, mainly because Jerry kept saying his name was Goldar.  Like from the Power Rangers.  

His name is not Goldar.  Definitely not.  

But it was evident that gold was going to be part of this Dragon's name.  He exuded qualities that had to do with light, with illumination (note the cool light-up thing he sits on!), with gold, with purity.  But he also had qualities of joy, of humor, somehow perfectly balanced with qualities of wisdom, of protection, of strength, of striving.  It was very hard to figure out who exactly this Dragon was.

Aizaidor, I learned is a combination of very powerful names: Isaac (laughter), Xavier (new house), Aidan (fire), Xhaidon (a combination of Xavier and Aiden, which means purifying light), D'or (golden).  Aizaidor is a name that combines all of these things--his gifts are laughter and illumination, a golden inspiration, if you will.  

His last name, Aenguishelm, is also a combination of other names/words.  Aengus is a Scottish name that means "excellent strength."  Helm means protection.  Anguish is derived from old french/latin, meaning distress, tightening, anxiety, tension, strife, torment, to throttle--in essence, something to fight against.  It combines all of these ideas--great strength and protection in the midst of the striving.  

When I learned his first and last names, I just looked at him, thinking, "Wow...how do you manage to be all of these things--both a joyous inspiring light AND a strong warrior against continual strife?"  That's when he whispered his middle name, his main name, to me: Thoth.  Thoth is a short name from one source: Egyptian mythology.  But just because it's a simple name from one source, that doesn't mean it's not just as complex as his other names.

Thoth was the Egyptian god of the moon, of writing, of wisdom, of balance.  When he first whispered his middle name, the name he actually goes by, to me, I remember thinking, "What?  That Egyptian god that looked like a bird?"  ...because he doesn't look like an Egyptian god that looks like a bird.

But the more I looked into it, the more I realized that Thoth really fits him.  First of all, he brings a balance and a wisdom to writing.  Writing is a joyous thing, something that is a vital part of who I am.  I don't think I could live without writing.  But it's also work, a process, something that if done properly, takes my full attention, my full heart.  If writing is done properly, it is a striving process, something full of great joy and of great heartache, full of all the things that make up life and the human experience.  The name Thoth is representative of that wisdom of balance between the laughter and the strife.  Also, Thoth was the Egyptian god of WRITING.  He was also the god of the moon, a source of illumination.  But the moon doesn't glow on its own, but as a reflection of a greater light.  Thoth is a good reminder to me that my illumination and inspiration isn't something I generate on my own, but it is a reflection of the One who first breathed in me, who breathes in me still.

So, this is who Thoth is to me, who he is to the Dragon-Muse team.  He's a balancer.  He's a little bit like Tai, who kind of makes things flow together--who is my "luck Dragon," for lack of a better term.  But Thoth kind of goes a bit beyond that and helps me keep in mind why I'm doing what I'm doing.  Tai is the how; Thoth is the why, if that makes sense.  I don't know that it does, but I'm going with it.  Dragon-Muses aren't meant to be fully understood, you know.

I'm not sure if I'm reviving the Dragon-Muse blog.  It's a possibility.  I've recently been in a writing slump--partly due to not having access to a decent computer, and partly because of general apathetic depression--but the Dragons are definitely starting to speak to me again.  I hope that means they're going to want to start speaking to you again, too.  If so, I'll be there to type for them (their talons kind of scratch up my keyboard, and none of the Dragons are patient enough to learn to type well, anyway--so what they would blog would look a little like this: iasklerjoubeadfkjaodsifnrion draoiuwerkljioasduf arej asejroiwemrlkoi asdnfijr cookmer.  Yeah.  It's better I type for them.  Well see what happens).  Until next time, we'll keep Dragon on.  

I'm sorry.  Horrible pun.  Jerry loved it, but Bion severely disapproves.  Dravaena just growled at me, too....