Jerry's Roadtrip Recap

Okay, okay, okay, so Mom and Dravaena and Tai and I...  HA!  Tai and I.  That totally rhymed.  I could write a poem.  Only I think Dravaena would kill me dead if I tried.  But all of us went on this road trip last weekend to see Mom's family.  I was stoked.  Literally.  I kept setting stuff on fire because I couldn't contain my excitement.  Mom was pretty annoyed with me, but she still let me come with her!

I was all ready the day of the trip.  Mom had us all loaded into the car, but she had to work before we could start the trip. 

There's Dravaena and Tai, tucked securely in Mom's purse alongside her handsanitizer and lotion.  Oh, I wish I were small enough to fit in Mom's purse...  I'm always on the outside looking in.

While Mom was at work, Dravaena gave me a talonful of little white pills.  She told me they were magic candy beans, and if I ate them, a magical candy beanstalk would grow inside my tummy and shoot out my nose.  That sounded like the coolest thing ever, so I scarfed them down.  A few minutes later, I got really sleepy...

...and the next thing I knew, Mom had gotten off work, had driven ten hours, and we were at Mom's parents' house.  I'd call her parents my grandparents, but she won't let me take it that far.  Of course, I was angry with Dravaena, but I can't stay mad at her too long.  I mean, she still scares me a little.  I was disappointed to have missed out on the whole trip up (not to mention that those magical candy pills did NOT make anything grow out of my nose), but I felt a lot better about it after I had learned that Mom and Dravaena had some kind of girly bonding time while driving through the mountains.  I'm so glad I was asleep for all of that.  Tai said it wasn't that bad, but..emotional girly crap...eww.  Yeah, if you're at all interested in reading about that, you can find it here.  Yeah...have fun with that.

Mom and Dravaena shared a girly bonding moment over this beautiful mountain sunset.  Gross.

I did get a little revenge on Dravaena--without even trying.  On the ride up, she eventually fell asleep next to me, and Mom snapped this pic of her snuggled up under my wing.  Dravaena says she did it on purpose because my wings are "soft as a Dragonling's buttocks," but I don't believe it was intentional. 

My name is Jerund M Frazier, and I sleep with my eyes open.

Okay, okay okay, so being with Mom's family was boring.  Mom ignored us, as usual.  The only fun time came when Mom's nephew (I'm not allowed to call him my cousin) discovered us.  For about 2 minutes, Mom's nieces and nephew pulled my tongue, beat me against the furniture, and just generally abused me.

It was wonderful.

But Mom can never stay away from work too long, so just a couple days later, we were back in the car again.  This time, I wouldn't let Dravaena trick me into taking any magical candy sleeping beanstalk pills.  Dravaena and I were placed in a sturdy paper bag, propped up so we could see the mountains.

Look!  We're Christmas colors!

Whatever.  I ended up taking a nap anyway because I didn't think I could tolerate both Mom and Dravaena gushing over the mountains. 

Okay, even I have to admit, they were pretty.

Dravaena believes the mountains are really sleeping Dragons, and that the clouds over them is smoke.  She thinks that's why they're called the Smoky Mountains.  I guess she's got a point...

There were a couple of major times of excitement on this return trip.  We drove past this place that sold DRAGONS.  Well, I thought it sold Dragons, since there was this big cool-looking Dragon outside of it, but Mom said it sold fireworks.  Mom managed to carefully snap a picture while driving past (she said she wasn't about to stop the car at a place that sold fireworks with three Dragons in the car.  I still don't know why.). 



Okay, okay, okay, so it's hard to see.  But there really IS a Dragon there.  I thought you could buy one Dragon and get TWO free (quite a bargain, if you ask me).  When Mom told me they were really selling fireworks, I thought that was still a pretty good bargain.  She told me that even if they were selling Dragons, she had ENOUGH Dragons and wouldn't want THREE for the price of one.  I don't know what she meant.  How can anyone have enough Dragons?

 The other exciting thing was that Mom stopped to meet a friend along the way.  I wanted to meet her friend, but she said her friend had a small child with her and she wasn't sure how the small child would react to me.  I didn't get it, because kids usually LOVE me.  While she was meeting with her friend, Tai had to explain to me that what Mom really meant is that she didn't know how I would react to the small child.  What's that supposed to mean?  Do I go crazy around small children or something?

Oh. 

Anyway, the place where Mom met her friend was a fast food restaurant.  Mom doesn't eat a lot of fast food, since she's on a diet.  But Mom decided to go on something called a "splurge," which is apparently the greatest thing ever, since it involves FRENCH FRIES.

I found out that I really like french fries.  I like them better than roasted peasant.

OH NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!

So that was the trip.  I guess I was glad to come home and see Bion and Pneuman again.  One of these days I hope Mom becomes a published author who goes on book signing tours and stuff, because then we might have some REAL adventures. 

And I hope they involve french fries.  And real magical candy beanstalks.

Mountain Journeys (by Dravaena)

This is my first blog post, so let me come right out and say that no, I don't always speak/write in verse.  I am the lyrical Dragon-Muse on this team, but I'm not Dr. Seuss.  He was a genius and all, but geniuses often slip into annoying madmen, and Dr. Seuss slipped this way a little too often for my taste.  Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I can continue.

(Jerry will post his own version of this trip later.  I think it will include pictures.  This is my version, and I prefer to paint pictures with my words.)

Ruth (I refuse to call her "the human," or "Mom"...Ruth is her name) took a ten hour drive back to the land of her origin this past weekend.  For some reason, she wanted some of us Dragons to accompany her.  Apparently, this is what she does.  She's taken Pneuman on an airplane, which led to the breaking of one of his horns.  He had it reattached through a major surgical procedure.  I'm not sure why he was so whiny about it.  When my horn broke off in the midst of glorious battle, it stayed off. 

She also took Bion on a car trip.  When I first heard of this, I thought it must have been frightfully boring for poor Bion, but then, he's pretty dull most of the time anyway.  He doesn't like too much excitement.  I figured he probably slept most of the trip. 

As Dragons, we can fly.  I could travel from here to the other side of the world overnight.  There's no reason for all of this human travel, or so I thought.

But then Ruth suggested I come on this latest car trip.

At first, I was tempted to decline.  I didn't like the idea of traveling like a human.  Also, Ruth wanted to bring Jerry, and while I like him quite a bit, I wasn't sure I wanted to spend 10 hours in the car with him...and then another 10 hours back.  But Ruth and I were still in that awkward getting to know each other stage.  Neither of us really knew what to do with the other one.  She was able to see the beauty in me beyond all my battle scars and often brash personality, and I was able to see beyond her obvious lack of poetic talent, but other than that, we really didn't have any kind of connection--at least not like the one she had with the other Dragons.  I thought it was because we're both females.  And we're both the type of females that either really get along with another female, or we just don't.

So I agreed to go on this journey to see if Ruth and I could really make any kind of friendship connection, or if we were just destined only for a professional Dragon-Muse/Writer relationship. 

The first four hours of our trip were quiet.  Too quiet.  For one thing, I had drugged Jerry.  Even though Tai had agreed to go along with us to help keep the peace, it was obvious that Jerry was far too excited to be trusted to behave himself.  So I took some of the expired Dramamine that Ruth had lying in the bottom of her dresser drawer, and I gave about five pills to Jerry.  I figured that would knock him out for a while, and it did.  So for the first four hours of our trip, it was quiet...but uncomfortable.  Even though Tai kept making jokes and stealing sips of Ruth's vanilla chai tea, it was awkward.  I was bored.  Turns out, driving four hours through NC is just not all that much fun.

...that is, until you get to the mountains. 

I've seen mountains before.  I've seen the harsh, rocky, jagged mountains that look like they're guarding something.  Of course, they are guarding something, and I don't care to try to find out what it is.  I don't mind fighting, but I'm not a male--I don't go picking fights for the sake of picking fights.  So I'm just fine letting those rocky, jagged mountains guard whatever it is they want to guard.  I guess I've never really paid attention to the mountains in NC, though.  They're softer, gentler--more like secret keepers than guards.  And I think I might actually want to know their secrets.  I have a feeling that if I listen closely, they're going to tell me...but only in gentle whispers and still, small voices.

And the sun broke through the clouds just as we reached these wondrous mountains.  The silence that came during that part of the drive wasn't awkward--it was reverent.  I was shoved down in Ruth's purse, and up to that point, I didn't mind it.  But now I wanted to see.  I uttered the only words I dared, asking Ruth to hold me up so I could experience the view she could see from her driver's seat. 

While Jerry slept and Tai sipped on chai, Ruth and I watched the sun melt into the mountain mist.  We basked in pure beauty.  We sang along with the music of the mountains.  It was then that Ruth and I really came to understand one another.  Though neither of us were born in those hills, we both understood that we belonged there.  We were daughters of the mountains. 

Of course, we were past those mountains much quicker than either of us wanted to be.  I eventually fluttered back down into Ruth's purse.  I huddled down beneath Jerry's blanket-like wing and went to sleep for the rest of the trip.  But before I drifted off, I told Ruth that one day, I'd really like to live nearer to those mountains.  And she agreed.

The time in KY was restful.  Ruth had a lot to do, spending time with her family, so I basically spent my time chatting with Jerry and Tai.  Tai, being an Asian-style Dragon, told me that some of the mountains in Asia are very similar to the mountains in NC.  I might fly over there some day to see for myself. 

The one major cause for excitement in KY came when Ruth's nephew discovered that we were there.  He's four, so he gets excited about as easily as Jerry does.  I heard his little voice exclaim, "DRAGONS!" and I knew we were in for it.  Suddenly, I found myself being manhandled by children--a terrifying experience.  But then I noticed that Ruth's nephew is a redhead.  I kind of like redheads, so I let him swoop me around pretending to eat and/or stomp on things until Ruth rescued me.  However, I didn't go back in my bag before giving that cute little redheaded boy a little kiss on the cheek.  Ruth told me to back off.  I growled at her.  It was all in good fun.

The trip back was just as amazing.  The sun didn't break through the clouds like before, but the mist hung around us like a veil.  And one day I know that veil will disappear, that those mountains like great sleeping Dragons are going to rise up.  Their voices will shake the ground.  Their smoke will fill the air.  Their tears will fall like rain.  And all will be made new.

In the meantime, I'm here with Ruth, who I finally understand.  We are daughters of the mountain, and we will write and sing and live and love.