I once thought that getting a girl-type Dragoness would be like the best thing ever, okay? So, I was wrong. When "Mom" got home today, she found this box in her room, and inside it was...a Dragon. A Dragoness. An evil red Dragoness. ...and Mom was actually happy about it.
Meet Dravaena. She's lovely, yes, but sinister. Just look at those cruel claws. *Shudder*
Well, of course Mom went to work trying to figure out this new Dragon's name. I suggested a few names for her. Jezebel. Delilah. Cruella. Spawn of Satan. Scarlet (because it rhymes with harlot--Mom told me she was going to wash my mouth out). Evil Incarnate. Mom hated all my name choices, and the evil red Dragoness hissed at me every time I suggested anything. Even after she started hissing and growling and snapping, Mom thought I was just being silly. She said, "It looks like this Dragon has been through a lot. She's feisty, but I'm sure we can all learn to get along with her."
Humans aren't that bright sometimes. And neither are my brothers. They all like her, all right. Bion is practically in love with her--but not like in a gross, mushy way. He just likes her because she scares the willies out of me. Jerk.
Anyway, so after MUCH deliberation, Mom discovered that this malicious creature is named Dravaena (Drah-VAY-nah) Taryn Thrush. According to Dravaena, her name is a combination of mostly Gaelic/Celtic names, and it has the following meanings: hunter, dark one, poet, bard, song. Taryn, her middle name, means "rocky hill" and can also mean "pure" and "torture." I think "pure torture" fits her rather well. Thrush, her last name, is a kind of bird--a song bird. I'm not sure how THAT name fits her, but whatever. I mean, she IS supposedly the Dragon-Muse that inspires Mom's poetry and song lyrics, but I think she's more of a vulture than a thrush.
And what's so necessary about a Poetry and Lyrical Dragon-Muse? My human writes horrible poetry. Apparently she just wants someone to blame it on. Why does it have to be this malicious Dravaena beastie? She could have been claimed by some cute pink Dragon-Muse that likes Italian food (and by that, I mean actual Italians), long rampages down the beach, and Dragon Nip Coladas. But no, no. Dravaena found and claimed her first. So now...we're doomed.
Anyway, Bion and Tai think she's great. Pneuman was skeptical until he heard her name. He knows a Dragon's name is very important. Apparently, he thought her name was acceptable. He approached her and officially welcomed her into the family with open wings. What is WITH my family? Can't they see that this Dravaena is going to kill us all in our sleep? I've read the Bible (at least the fun parts) and I've read Revelation. It had this Dragon that represented Satan--do you know what color it was? I'll tell you what color it was. Red. That's what color it was.
We're doomed, I tell you. Doomed.
Tai: Ooh! Who does your nails?
Bion: Scare Jerry some more! Scare Jerry some more!
Pneuman: I see you broke your horn. Our human broke my horn TWICE and had to perform emergency horn replacement surgery. So, how did you break your horn?
Dravaena: I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
Wow. I thought I was the crazy one!
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