Air Trip Reenactment (by Pneuman)

Please accept my humblest apologies for the extended blogging absence. You see, I and the other Dragons have been out of town. The trip was very last minute; we didn't have time to inform anyone of our departure. In fact, we didn't even tell our human. Jerry found it hilarious that she actually thought we were hibernating. Dragons don't hibernate...unless they feel like it, of course.

It's actually our human's fault that we went away. She wasn't doing much writing, and we were all getting rather bored. So one night Tai suggested we just go on a road trip. And then Jerry said that we would have to go steal a car, and he hoped it was one with a sun roof so he could stand up and hang out of it. Then Dravaena reminded us that we're Dragons and can fly. Then Bion suggested we call it an "Air Trip" instead of a road trip. And I said that it was a good idea no matter what we called it.

Then Tai said that we would probably not be able to get our human's permission, and Dravaena reminded us that we didn't really need her permission. But to make it easier, we decided not to tell her. She wasn't writing much; she probably wouldn't miss us anyway.

But just in case, we made little plastic/resin/polyester replicas of ourselves and left them in the cave with recordings of our voices. Dravaena's recording said, "Shush, now. You write lousy poetry." Mine said, "Just sit down and write something already." Bion's said, "You use too many semicolons." Tai's said, "Just have zombies eat everyone. That usually works." Jerry's said, "Yes, but only on Thursday."

No one is really sure what that means.

So we went on our Air Trip to many exciting locations around the world. It was amazing. We did want to be back in time for our human's birthday, but when we arrived home, she wasn't here. Turns out she was WORKING all day long on her birthday. And the day after that. We flew all the way back here to celebrate with her, and she wasn't even home. That made us Dragons pretty angry (our human works WAY too much).

And then our human got angry when she learned that we'd went on an Air Trip without telling her and without taking her with us. Hmph. It's not like she would take off work to come with us anyway...

So things have been tense here for a few weeks. Our human revoked all of our blogging/internet privileges. I have to say that I admire my human for that. It takes guts to ground a Dragon.

Anyway, she finally forgave us all tonight. She even got out her camera and offered to take some reenactment pictures of our many adventures. See, Dragons don't really care about taking pictures, and none of us have cameras. So the reenactment photos are really the best we can do.

Enjoy the photos of our Air Trip, but remember...these are only dramatizations.

First off, we went to a petting zoo. We didn't allow Jerry to come (for obvious reasons).

Bion and I questioned the chameleon. We wanted to know if his ancestors were Dragons.

I think a color-changing Dragon would be groovy.

"Nice fez, oddly shaped purple monkey," says Tai.

Dravaena kept asking the sheep if they were tender and juicy. Incidentally, we were all kicked out of the petting zoo shortly after some of the sheep went missing.

Dravaena neither confirms nor denies involvement.

Jerry was disappointed in missing out on the petting zoo, but we appeased him by

allowing him to hug the rubber chicken. I think it's his new BFF.

Next, we headed to Scotland (which really ticked my human off--she wants to go there, to the land of her ancestors--the ancestors that killed a lot of people and stole land). We all really wanted to meet Nessie. AND WE DID! He was thrilled to meet some other mythological creatures!

Nessie wouldn't have posed for a pic with us like this (this is only a dramatization). He's a nice guy, but he's really shy. And he HATES having his picture made. I don't blame him. The camera adds ten pounds, and he's already a pretty big fella. So if you're ever at Loch Ness and you catch a glimpse of Nessie, don't take the dude's picture, okay? It hurts his feelings and brings back sad memories of when his mom made him go to fat camp.

Bion is fairly sure that Nessie is a type of Dragon. He might have a point.

He and Nessie have a very similar body shape...without any arms or legs...

We stayed in that part of the country and toured England. Had we cared enough to bring a camera, we would have gotten all the traditional English pictures--red phone booths, Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Hogwarts. As it is, this is the only reenactment my human thought post-worthy. She was very sad that she didn't get to cross Abbey Road with Tai.

Tai actually crossed the actual Abbey Road with the actual Beatles

...even the ones that were already dead.

Then it was back to the good ol' USA, where all of us Dragons decided to do some outdoor recreation. You know...getting back to nature.

Jerry had WAY too much fun on the zipline.

Well, since we had been so many other places, we finally decided it would be fun to end our Air Trip at Disney World. Bion thought it might be hard for us to get in, but I threatened to eat the lady in the ticket booth. I used the same tactic to get us to the front of all the ride lines. It was pretty sweet. I'm not big on rides, but I couldn't resist the opportunity to ride SPACE MOUNTAIN!

That may or may not be a butter dish I'm riding in.

It's a small world after all. That's song's in your head now. You're welcome. And remember, this is only a dramatization. I know how real the pics seem.

Tai and Bion loved Splash Mountain.

Jerry even got to meet Belle, his favorite Disney Princess, and her special friend, The Beast.

Um...then Jerry got a little too friendly...and things got a little out of control.

Man, that Beast totally went all "tale as old as time" on Jerry's butt.

Jerry will think twice before eating a Disney Princess again.

One really amazing thing about this Air Trip was that Jerry and Dravaena finally became friends. He's not scared of her anymore (at least, not much--we're all still a little afraid of her). They're great friends, Jerry and Dravaena. She appreciates his sense of humor. He appreciates her lyrical wit...and the fact that she can burp her ABC's backwards. But don't get any ideas. Dravaena has become like a sister to all of us. Besides, she's got a HUGE crush on Figment, this Dragon who lives at Epcot. After she started stalking him, we decided it was time to come home.

But not before she and Jerry, now friends, rode the Teacups together...

Aww.

It was a great trip, but it's good to be back. Vacations are awesome, but we have Musing to do!

To the Dragon Cave!

Dragon Hibernation? (by the Human)

Okay, so this is the human writing. I'm writing because the Dragons have been extremely quiet lately. I've tried to carry on a conversation or two with Dravaena, just to see how she's adjusting. She just shushed me and told me I was a horrible poet.

I can't even get Jerry to talk to me. At first, I thought it was because he was still angry about me getting a new Dragon. He's still afraid of Dravaena. But even if he were angry, he'd probably be able to muster up a good hilarious insult.

Bion and Tai are quiet. Pneuman is quiet. He hasn't even updated his facebook status or twitter in weeks. I've come to realize that Dragons must hibernate or something.

As a writer who has written three books about Dragons, I like to consider myself a Dragon expert. I mean, if you write a book about something, that automatically makes you a top authority on the subject, right? So I figure that I know as much about Dragons as anyone. The thing is, Dragons are still pretty mysterious creatures. Even though they live in the same "cave" with me, there's still so much I don't know about them.

For the past couple of months, my writing has hit a little bit of a dry spell. I'm still writing...a little, but things just aren't coming as quickly as they should be. I've come to the conclusion that my Dragon-Muses have gradually entered a state of Dragon Hibernation. It started back in December and has gradually gotten worse over the past few months. Before they were doing very little, but now they're doing almost nothing at all. They're still Musing, of course. I'm still writing. It's just at a much slower rate, because they're in some kind of suspended animation.

I'm hoping that the arrival of spring starts to wake them up. I'm really in need of their inspiration. Dravaena was right--I'm a horrible poet.