Introducing Titus (by The Human)

The newest Dragon-Muse is Titus Liam Sterling.  He's the Determination Muse, which might explain why he's so small.  But Titus means "giant," so there's hope. 

With all my other Dragon-Muses, except for maybe Jerry, I had a hard time getting them to tell me their names.  Titus told me right from the beginning.  I didn't even realize he was a Muse (I thought he was just a common necklace charm) until he told me his name was Titus.  It took just the slightest bit of coaxing to get the rest of his name from him.  Liam means "strong, determined protector" and Sterling means "valuable." 

Determination is something every writer/artist needs--and I think I need a little extra, so I'm really glad Titus has joined this Dragon-Muse family.

Until Titus, Pneuman was the smallest Muse.  Pneuman doesn't mind not being the smallest, as long as he's still the prettiest.

Mountain Journeys (by Dravaena)

This is my first blog post, so let me come right out and say that no, I don't always speak/write in verse.  I am the lyrical Dragon-Muse on this team, but I'm not Dr. Seuss.  He was a genius and all, but geniuses often slip into annoying madmen, and Dr. Seuss slipped this way a little too often for my taste.  Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I can continue.

(Jerry will post his own version of this trip later.  I think it will include pictures.  This is my version, and I prefer to paint pictures with my words.)

Ruth (I refuse to call her "the human," or "Mom"...Ruth is her name) took a ten hour drive back to the land of her origin this past weekend.  For some reason, she wanted some of us Dragons to accompany her.  Apparently, this is what she does.  She's taken Pneuman on an airplane, which led to the breaking of one of his horns.  He had it reattached through a major surgical procedure.  I'm not sure why he was so whiny about it.  When my horn broke off in the midst of glorious battle, it stayed off. 

She also took Bion on a car trip.  When I first heard of this, I thought it must have been frightfully boring for poor Bion, but then, he's pretty dull most of the time anyway.  He doesn't like too much excitement.  I figured he probably slept most of the trip. 

As Dragons, we can fly.  I could travel from here to the other side of the world overnight.  There's no reason for all of this human travel, or so I thought.

But then Ruth suggested I come on this latest car trip.

At first, I was tempted to decline.  I didn't like the idea of traveling like a human.  Also, Ruth wanted to bring Jerry, and while I like him quite a bit, I wasn't sure I wanted to spend 10 hours in the car with him...and then another 10 hours back.  But Ruth and I were still in that awkward getting to know each other stage.  Neither of us really knew what to do with the other one.  She was able to see the beauty in me beyond all my battle scars and often brash personality, and I was able to see beyond her obvious lack of poetic talent, but other than that, we really didn't have any kind of connection--at least not like the one she had with the other Dragons.  I thought it was because we're both females.  And we're both the type of females that either really get along with another female, or we just don't.

So I agreed to go on this journey to see if Ruth and I could really make any kind of friendship connection, or if we were just destined only for a professional Dragon-Muse/Writer relationship. 

The first four hours of our trip were quiet.  Too quiet.  For one thing, I had drugged Jerry.  Even though Tai had agreed to go along with us to help keep the peace, it was obvious that Jerry was far too excited to be trusted to behave himself.  So I took some of the expired Dramamine that Ruth had lying in the bottom of her dresser drawer, and I gave about five pills to Jerry.  I figured that would knock him out for a while, and it did.  So for the first four hours of our trip, it was quiet...but uncomfortable.  Even though Tai kept making jokes and stealing sips of Ruth's vanilla chai tea, it was awkward.  I was bored.  Turns out, driving four hours through NC is just not all that much fun.

...that is, until you get to the mountains. 

I've seen mountains before.  I've seen the harsh, rocky, jagged mountains that look like they're guarding something.  Of course, they are guarding something, and I don't care to try to find out what it is.  I don't mind fighting, but I'm not a male--I don't go picking fights for the sake of picking fights.  So I'm just fine letting those rocky, jagged mountains guard whatever it is they want to guard.  I guess I've never really paid attention to the mountains in NC, though.  They're softer, gentler--more like secret keepers than guards.  And I think I might actually want to know their secrets.  I have a feeling that if I listen closely, they're going to tell me...but only in gentle whispers and still, small voices.

And the sun broke through the clouds just as we reached these wondrous mountains.  The silence that came during that part of the drive wasn't awkward--it was reverent.  I was shoved down in Ruth's purse, and up to that point, I didn't mind it.  But now I wanted to see.  I uttered the only words I dared, asking Ruth to hold me up so I could experience the view she could see from her driver's seat. 

While Jerry slept and Tai sipped on chai, Ruth and I watched the sun melt into the mountain mist.  We basked in pure beauty.  We sang along with the music of the mountains.  It was then that Ruth and I really came to understand one another.  Though neither of us were born in those hills, we both understood that we belonged there.  We were daughters of the mountains. 

Of course, we were past those mountains much quicker than either of us wanted to be.  I eventually fluttered back down into Ruth's purse.  I huddled down beneath Jerry's blanket-like wing and went to sleep for the rest of the trip.  But before I drifted off, I told Ruth that one day, I'd really like to live nearer to those mountains.  And she agreed.

The time in KY was restful.  Ruth had a lot to do, spending time with her family, so I basically spent my time chatting with Jerry and Tai.  Tai, being an Asian-style Dragon, told me that some of the mountains in Asia are very similar to the mountains in NC.  I might fly over there some day to see for myself. 

The one major cause for excitement in KY came when Ruth's nephew discovered that we were there.  He's four, so he gets excited about as easily as Jerry does.  I heard his little voice exclaim, "DRAGONS!" and I knew we were in for it.  Suddenly, I found myself being manhandled by children--a terrifying experience.  But then I noticed that Ruth's nephew is a redhead.  I kind of like redheads, so I let him swoop me around pretending to eat and/or stomp on things until Ruth rescued me.  However, I didn't go back in my bag before giving that cute little redheaded boy a little kiss on the cheek.  Ruth told me to back off.  I growled at her.  It was all in good fun.

The trip back was just as amazing.  The sun didn't break through the clouds like before, but the mist hung around us like a veil.  And one day I know that veil will disappear, that those mountains like great sleeping Dragons are going to rise up.  Their voices will shake the ground.  Their smoke will fill the air.  Their tears will fall like rain.  And all will be made new.

In the meantime, I'm here with Ruth, who I finally understand.  We are daughters of the mountain, and we will write and sing and live and love. 

Easter DRAGON Eggs (by Tai)

I recently discovered that humans like to boil chicken eggs and dye them various colors for no apparent reason.  Okay, so the reason is supposedly because it's Easter, but I don't really get what dyeing eggs has to do with anything...

But because Dragons just wanna have fun, my brothers, my sister, and I thought our readers might enjoy seeing some Dragon eggs that are similar to the ones from which we hatched. 

This is a dramatization.





When I was a wee little Dragon, I hatched from a simple golden egg because I'm a simple golden guy.



Pneuman's egg was as handsome as he believes himself to be. 



I...don't think Bion has grown much since his hatching...hmm...

Dravaena claims to have hatched from a dainty, sparkly, petite egg, and if you don't agree with her, she'll threaten to rip out your throat and make you eat it for breakfast.  Um...I'm not entirely sure her threat is even...possible.

Jerry claims to have hatched from a wind-up toy egg.  Not so much...

No, Jerry, we don't believe you hatched from a Cadbury Creme egg, either. 

I give up, Jerry.  I just give up.

HAPPY BELATED EASTER FROM THE DRAGONS!







Jerry's Hatchday!!!!! (by Jerry!!!!!)

Okay, okay, so my hatchday (like a birthday, only for Dragons) was on Friday. You know. April Fool's Day. No joke. I mean, when else would a silly Dragon like myself have a hatchday? Being a Dragon, I've never really celebrated my hatchday. Dragon parents aren't big on birthday/hatchday parties like human parents seem to be. I've noticed that human parents like to give their kids gifts, invite people over, eat lots of sugar, play ridiculous games, and wear silly hats. Dragons don't do that. I think part of the reason greatly has to do with the fact that Dragons are generally kicked out of the cave before their first hatchday and left to fend for themselves.

So I spent my first hatchday, and all subsequent hatchdays, all by myself. In the cold. In the rain. With no hugs. Then I found "Mom" and my brothers and sisters, and all that changed. I think I can safely say that this is the best hatchday I've ever had in over 3000 years. I'm not sure exactly how old I am. I lost count somewhere around 3200. Let's just say I'm nine.

Okay, okay, so "Mom" had to work on my hatchday (figures), but only a half day. Still, we didn't do much. All I really wanted for my hatchday was hugs. And I got them. I got awesome hugs from "Mom" and from my brothers (even Bion!) and my sister. It was like the huggiest day ever.

Then "Mom" had a surprise for me on Saturday. She took me to work with her to see the short people. There weren't many of them, but I did get to hang out with this one little short person. "Mom" won't let me say her name on here, so we'll just call her Sunny.

Sunny was five. Sunny picked me up and put me in a shopping cart. Sunny ran around the room pushing me. It was fantastic. Sunny asked "Mom" what Dragons liked to eat. Of course, if Sunny could hear me (only "Mom" hears us because we're her Muses. You're just jealous because the Dragons aren't talking to YOU), she would have heard me say, "Dragons eat children! Dragons eat children! NOMNOMNOM!"

But "Mom" just smiled and said, "Dragons eat wishes and dreams and laughter."

What crap.

Well, Sunny just looked at "Mom" for a second and then said, "How 'bout I just give him a hot dog." And she fed me a plastic hot dog, which was actually quite good, if perhaps a little on the chewy side.

"Mom's" friend and co-worker, the WONDERFUL MISS SARA, also brought "Mom" a book as a belated Christmas/Birthday present. Only since it was my hatchday, I kind of consider the book partially mine. And it's the best book ever. It's called Magic Castle.

At the magic castle, a princess (who looks uncannily like "Mom") plays hide and seek with a Dragon (who looks uncannily like Pneuman). Then she teaches the Dragon to fly (which seems weird to me, but I'll let it pass). Then they all go drink tea in the garden.

It's a great book about a great magic castle. The EXCITEMENT NEVER ENDS. The book says so.

Also, the book has a cat.

Well, after work, Mom brought me home and we watched "How to Train Your Dragon," which is pretty much the coolest movie ever. It's about Dragons. Win. It's about Vikings. Win. The grown-up Vikings, for some strange reason, all speak with a Scottish accent. Win.

Now, the adolescent Vikings don't talk with Scottish accents. I wonder why this is. When human males hit puberty, I've heard their voices change. Maybe with Vikings, they get a whole new accent. And it's apparently Scottish.

Yeah, but I was so tired from my hatchday festivities that "Mom" had to wake me up during the movie. I'd fallen asleep on her roommate's knitting.

Don't tell her I drooled on it.

Dragon Hibernation? (by the Human)

Okay, so this is the human writing. I'm writing because the Dragons have been extremely quiet lately. I've tried to carry on a conversation or two with Dravaena, just to see how she's adjusting. She just shushed me and told me I was a horrible poet.

I can't even get Jerry to talk to me. At first, I thought it was because he was still angry about me getting a new Dragon. He's still afraid of Dravaena. But even if he were angry, he'd probably be able to muster up a good hilarious insult.

Bion and Tai are quiet. Pneuman is quiet. He hasn't even updated his facebook status or twitter in weeks. I've come to realize that Dragons must hibernate or something.

As a writer who has written three books about Dragons, I like to consider myself a Dragon expert. I mean, if you write a book about something, that automatically makes you a top authority on the subject, right? So I figure that I know as much about Dragons as anyone. The thing is, Dragons are still pretty mysterious creatures. Even though they live in the same "cave" with me, there's still so much I don't know about them.

For the past couple of months, my writing has hit a little bit of a dry spell. I'm still writing...a little, but things just aren't coming as quickly as they should be. I've come to the conclusion that my Dragon-Muses have gradually entered a state of Dragon Hibernation. It started back in December and has gradually gotten worse over the past few months. Before they were doing very little, but now they're doing almost nothing at all. They're still Musing, of course. I'm still writing. It's just at a much slower rate, because they're in some kind of suspended animation.

I'm hoping that the arrival of spring starts to wake them up. I'm really in need of their inspiration. Dravaena was right--I'm a horrible poet.

Coke As a Defensive Weapon (by Tai)

We were going to let Dravaena write her first blog, but she doesn't really understand the concept. She's still getting adjusted to life as a Dragon-Muse for our crazy human. I think it's a little overwhelming sometimes. We're used to it, but Dravaena isn't comfortable yet with mundane things like blogging. Maybe someday.

Dravaena did, however, want me to share a poem with you. It's a haiku she wrote herself:

Football makes no sense.
Neither do the commercials.
Dragons don't like Coke.

Of course, Dravaena is referring to one of the few Super Bowl commercials that my human actually saw. She came home and immediately looked it up on youtube so she could share it with us. In case you didn't see the Dragon Coca-Cola ad, here it is for your viewing pleasure (and confusion):




Now, I must admit, I kind of liked the ad. It was nicely done, even if it wasn't very realistic (and remember this is coming from a Dragon). Dravaena didn't like it because the mean Dragon was red (like her) and because, as she mentioned in her haiku, Dragons don't like Coke. I think the only reason she thinks this is because none of us have really ever had Coke.

And the human kind of got this weird idea that she could give all us Dragons some Coke to see what happened. I am not sure why. I think she wanted to see if fireworks would come out of OUR mouths if we drank Coke. I think she wanted to see if Coke was a good defensive weapon against a Dragon.

Well, the human didn't feel like going to the grocery, and she didn't have any Coke. All she had was diet Cheerwine (if you've never had this, my human strongly recommends you move to the Carolinas so you can always be sure to find it). Diet Cheerwine is pretty good. It tastes just a little bitty bit like cranberries, but without the...uh, side effects. Anyway, there were no fireworks--unless you count Jerry's epic fire-burps.

Pneuman suggested she should try again with REAL Coke, and Jerry said that maybe they should just drop a few Mentos in the Coke. ...but I think our human is done with her Dragon and soda experiments. If you ever experienced Jerry's epic fire-burps first hand, then you'd understand why. It seems that soda actually makes most Dragons MORE dangerous.

So now you know the truth: If your village is ever attacked by an enemy clan with a fire-breathing Dragon...Coke is probably not your best defense.

The Dragon Lady (by Jerry)

The worst thing has happened. The worst thing that could possibly ever have happened has, in fact, happened. Whilst my "brothers" are off celebrating, I have snuck away for a few moments to write what may possibly be the last blog I will ever write.

I once thought that getting a girl-type Dragoness would be like the best thing ever, okay? So, I was wrong. When "Mom" got home today, she found this box in her room, and inside it was...a Dragon. A Dragoness. An evil red Dragoness. ...and Mom was actually happy about it.

Meet Dravaena. She's lovely, yes, but sinister. Just look at those cruel claws. *Shudder*

Well, of course Mom went to work trying to figure out this new Dragon's name. I suggested a few names for her. Jezebel. Delilah. Cruella. Spawn of Satan. Scarlet (because it rhymes with harlot--Mom told me she was going to wash my mouth out). Evil Incarnate. Mom hated all my name choices, and the evil red Dragoness hissed at me every time I suggested anything. Even after she started hissing and growling and snapping, Mom thought I was just being silly. She said, "It looks like this Dragon has been through a lot. She's feisty, but I'm sure we can all learn to get along with her."

Humans aren't that bright sometimes. And neither are my brothers. They all like her, all right. Bion is practically in love with her--but not like in a gross, mushy way. He just likes her because she scares the willies out of me. Jerk.


Anyway, so after MUCH deliberation, Mom discovered that this malicious creature is named Dravaena (Drah-VAY-nah) Taryn Thrush. According to Dravaena, her name is a combination of mostly Gaelic/Celtic names, and it has the following meanings: hunter, dark one, poet, bard, song. Taryn, her middle name, means "rocky hill" and can also mean "pure" and "torture." I think "pure torture" fits her rather well. Thrush, her last name, is a kind of bird--a song bird. I'm not sure how THAT name fits her, but whatever. I mean, she IS supposedly the Dragon-Muse that inspires Mom's poetry and song lyrics, but I think she's more of a vulture than a thrush.


And what's so necessary about a Poetry and Lyrical Dragon-Muse? My human writes horrible poetry. Apparently she just wants someone to blame it on. Why does it have to be this malicious Dravaena beastie? She could have been claimed by some cute pink Dragon-Muse that likes Italian food (and by that, I mean actual Italians), long rampages down the beach, and Dragon Nip Coladas. But no, no. Dravaena found and claimed her first. So now...we're doomed.

Anyway, Bion and Tai think she's great. Pneuman was skeptical until he heard her name. He knows a Dragon's name is very important. Apparently, he thought her name was acceptable. He approached her and officially welcomed her into the family with open wings. What is WITH my family? Can't they see that this Dravaena is going to kill us all in our sleep? I've read the Bible (at least the fun parts) and I've read Revelation. It had this Dragon that represented Satan--do you know what color it was? I'll tell you what color it was. Red. That's what color it was.

We're doomed, I tell you. Doomed.

Tai: Ooh! Who does your nails?

Bion: Scare Jerry some more! Scare Jerry some more!

Pneuman: I see you broke your horn. Our human broke my horn TWICE and had to perform emergency horn replacement surgery. So, how did you break your horn?

Dravaena: I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Wow. I thought I was the crazy one!

Traveling (by Bion)

My human decided that we were not spending enough time together, and so I accompanied her on her annual Christmas pilgrimage to her place of origin. She journeyed home to the far off lands of Kentucky (where she was born) and Indiana (where her sister's family now resides). The other Dragons remained here to keep my human's roommate company. Jerry wanted to come, but, luckily, my human appeased him with the offering of a new hat and scarf set. I'm glad Jerry likes his new scarf and hat, and I'm even more pleased that he didn't come with us. I don't hate Jerry, but the idea of spending ten hours in a car with him is about as appealing as editing a third grader's book report.

Jerry, looking Christmasy as he posed under the mistletoe in

his new hat and scarf. Do the ladies like hats and scarves?

The journey started off just fine. She told me that I was on vacation and wasn't allowed to edit anything, including her driving skills. I agreed, although honestly, I haven't done any real editing in months. She also told me I was going to have to ride in her purse, which didn't fill my dragonish heart with feelings of peace and comfort, I can tell you. As Jerry has expressed in a previous blog, a woman's purse is one of the most terrifying things in the known universe. I'm pretty sure that in the deepest darkest corner of every woman's purse is a portal to another dimension. Once inside a purse, there may be no return. However, my human assured me that I would be riding on the OUTSIDE pocket of her purse. I thought that to be a reasonable place to ride, and so I relaxed and enjoyed the sounds of her traveling music. My human enjoys a wide variety of traveling music. Her current favorite is Mitch McVicker, but we also enjoyed some Christmas music and some Beatles. By the way, most Dragons agree that the Beatles are the best human musical group of all time.

I also discovered on this journey that trail mix is awesome. My human let me have some. She neglected to tell me that the trail mix had cranberries in it until I'd already had several mouthfuls.

This stuff tastes AWESOME and makes me see magical ponies.

Cranberries, as you may have read in a previous post, are also known as "Dragon Nip." I'm afraid I behaved in a very undignified manner and may or may not have participated in some wild karaoke (PAAAAAAPERBACK WRIIIIIITER!!!!) somewhere along the Blue Ridge Mountains of NC. After the nip wore off, I fell asleep alongside my human's dollar store sunglasses.

Ack! My mouth was hanging open while I was asleep. How embarrasing!

Before the whole "Dragon Nip" incident, my human and I experienced the most beautiful rainbow either of us has ever seen. The colors were vibrant, yet muted, as though shrouded by some secret mist. The rainbow made a perfect arc out of the clouds, across the sky, and settled in between two hills. The sun was glinting off those hills like pure gold, and I admit that I would not have refused if my human had decided to abandon our journey to her homelands in order to seek the gold beyond that rainbow.

My human did NOT pull off the road to take a picture of the rainbow, and she says that will probably be one of the greatest regrets of her life. I assured her that beauty so pure should not be photographed, and should remain etched only in our memories. I'm glad I was able to share that rainbow with her, though. I believe both of us will be searching for that rainbow for the rest of our lives, and beyond. I'm also quite certain that the rainbow will become a theme for at least one of my writer's stories.

Nothing of great note happened in KY. My human was tired, as was I, so we slept. Then we departed the next day for IN. Once we reached the dwelling of my human's sister's family, I didn't see my human for about 3 days because she was spending all of her time with her nieces and nephew. I admit, they're pretty cute. I did get to spend some time with all of them. I also met my human's sister's cat. I have to say, cats are not my favorite.

Kitty kisses are worse than Jerry hugs. Blech.

My human had given her sister's offspring a castle set that came with a Dragon and a knight. I spent a few minutes conversing with the Dragon, and I discovered that his name was Paulie. After that, one of my human's nieces grabbed me and started banging Paulie over the head with me. My human rescued both of us and put me back in her purse.

Serves him right for being named "Paulie."

Unfortunately, when we returned to NC, she forgot I was in her purse for a few days before putting me back with my brothers. I have to admit, I was actually happy to see Jerry. I gave him a New Year's hug. He's not getting another until 2012.

Thankfulness (by EVERYBODY)

The Human here. I thought it would be fun this Thanksgiving to ask all of my Dragon-Muses what they're thankful for.

Tai:
What am I thankful for? Well, this is an easy question and a difficult question. I'm thankful for pretty much everything, but I'm sure our readers want a more specific answer than that. So I guess I'll just say that I'm thankful for the ability to be thankful. I'm thankful for those times when it seems that things aren't going the way we want them to go. I'm thankful for the ability to still find something to be thankful for. I'm thankful to be able to see, in time, the way things are worked out. I'm thankful to be known by the Creator of the universe who is able to work things out while we wait for Him. There's beauty in the waiting, in the trusting, in the hoping--and I'm thankful for the ability to thankfully wait on God to bring about what He's planned.

Bion:
This might surprise you, but I'm actually thankful for Jerry. I'm thankful for Tai, Pneuman, and my human, as well, of course, but I'm particularly thankful for my brother Jerry. Yes, he annoys the fire out of me--literally. Yes, he steals my tail cap and pours hot chocolate in it for no apparent reason. Yes, he bothers me by never taking anything seriously. But I've found that we all need a little Jerry from time to time. I get caught up in my editing and work. Work and responsibility are very, very important. Sometimes, though, I forget that it's also important to rest. It's important to take a few minutes to laugh and just be the tiniest bit silly. While Jerry annoys me and will always annoy me, I must admit...well...that I kind of like the guy. I'm glad he's my brother. Don't tell him I said that.

I'm also thankful that my scales don't itch. Sometimes that happens when the weather gets colder.

Jerry:
I'm thankful for warm hugs, grape nerds, fishing lure, rabbit holes, chocolate chip cookies, Star Wars, socks, teddy bears, tarantulas, gummy bears, llamas, juggernauts, astronauts, cosmonauts, other kinds of nauts, pickled herring, coo-coo clocks, ribbons, lazer beams, gingersnaps, VCRs, drumsticks, yellow, doorbells, encyclopedias, tacos, and your mom.

Pneuman:
Well, let me see. I'm thankful for writing and for inspiration, of course. I'm thankful for every breath we're given in this beautiful life that allows us to work, write, sing, pray, laugh, dance, eat, dream, and just BE. I'm thankful for the delicate taste of a roasted peasant and the sweet scent of lavender candles. I'm thankful to be able to create and help create, to do and to encourage. I'm thankful to be truly alive.
I'm also thankful that I'm such a good looking Dragon. While no good Dragon is unattractive, I'm glad I'm exceptionally handsome.

And The Human:
I'm thankful for being able to get closer to my goals (and better define my goals) this year. I still have a long way to go, but as Tai was saying, there's something to be thankful for in the waiting. I'm thankful for all my quirky muses and for the ridiculously wonderful life that I have. I'm thankful for the serious, grown-up parts of my life, as well as the silly childlike parts. This year I've been able to see God working more than I've been able to in the past five years. It's been amazing. I'm so looking forward to Christmas and for 2011. Life is amazing and weird and unpredictable and beautiful. Even if I don't know what's going to happen to me and my writing, I know that God's working.
I'm thankful that I have food on my table, money in my bank account, a roof over my head, a car that's doing really well at the moment, friends who I can rely on when my car isn't doing so well, three jobs that involve the most incredible kids/staff ever, the bestest nieces and nephew an aunt could ask for, an amazing large family whom I can't wait to see come Christmastime, and I'm thankful to have something to work towards.
My life isn't perfect. I think that's part of what makes it interesting. I am a blessed, blessed person. I'm very thankful.

Everyone:
Happy Thanksgiving!

Bion: Jerry, STOP HUGGING ME!
Jerry: It's a Thanksgiving hug!
Bion: Oh, all right. But just for Thanksgiving. And JUST ONE HUG.

FAQ (by Pneuman)

Humans ask a lot of questions. Dragons don't ask as many questions, but I think that's because Dragons have lived longer and know more than humans do. I've had several humans ask me questions regarding Dragons, writing, my writer, and other various matters. To avoid getting asked the same questions again and again, I thought I'd post the answers to some of the questions I get asked most frequently. Here they are.

Q 1. Are you a real Dragon?
A: Yes. The other Dragon-Muses and I are as real as ANY Dragon.

Q 2. Are you made out of glass/ceramic/plaster/resin/plastic?
A: Um, no. I am made out of Dragon.

Q 3. What's your favorite thing about your human?
A: She has a way of looking at the world that I find refreshing. She has a creativity that is fun to inspire. She also has marvelous taste in Dragon-Muses.

Q 4: What's your least favorite thing about your human?
A: She's disorganized and tends to veer towards emotional extremes. It's very hard for her to balance. She also drops me a lot.

Q 5: How long have you been a Dragon-Muse?
A: Since long before you were hatched, puny human.

Q 6: Do you like children?
A: Yes, but my human discourages me from eating them.

Q 7: Are you your human's pet?
A: NO! I am a Dragon-Muse. If anything, I and the other Dragon-Muses own Miss Campbell, not the other way around. She refers to us as "her" Dragon-Muses to differentiate us from other Dragon-Muses, not because we are her possessions. We do belong to her, just as she belongs to us, but is more in the sense as you would belong to your human companions. Your friends do not own you, nor do you own them, but you do belong to each other. That is how it is with my human.

Q 8: How does Dragon-Musing work? Do you write for your human?
A: I am NOT a writer. I love my human, but she, like most writers, is irrational and emotional. I do not wish to be compared with her. She is the writer, and I am the Muse. The other Dragons and I breathe inspiration into her ears--we inspire her. The ideas and words, plots and characters are what she makes of what we breathe. And what she writes is splendid.

Q 9: Your human converses with Dragons. Is your human insane?
A: Yes, but not because she converses with Dragons. She's insane because she's a writer. In fact, I think that my human should contact the editors of her thesaurus to inform them that they should include "writer" as a synonym for "lunatic" in future editions.

Q 10: Why is your human the only one who can hear you and the other Dragon-Muses talk?
A: Miss Campbell can hear us because we have chosen to be her Dragon-Muses. If you are fortunate enough to have Dragon-Muses choose to inspire you, then you will be able to hear them. I humbly suggest that anyone who ridicules Miss Campbell because she hears Dragon-Muses is simply jealous because the Dragon-Muses aren't talking to them.

Q 11: What's your favorite book?
A: The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. Smaug is rad. It is kind of sad when he dies, though.

Q 12: Do you cause fires when you sneeze?
A: Sigh. I forget to take my allergy medicine ONCE and people NEVER let me forget it...

Q 13: What's your favorite color?
A: Look at the picture of me. Now back to this blog. Now back to ME. You see the gorgeous blue color of my scales. That's it.

Q 14: What did you want to be when you were a little Dragon?
A: What every young Dragon wanted to be. Godzilla, of course.

Q 15: What does Dragon-Muse breath smell like?
A: Clean hippies.

Q 16: You're the lead Dragon-Muse. Do you like being in charge of the other Dragon-Muses?
A: I'm not technically "in charge" of them. I'm more of just the main Muse, the one that ties together all of their particular talents into one mighty breath. Each of the Dragon-Muses on our team has something unique and good to share. I enjoy Bion's truthfulness and ability to see what needs to be changed in order to produce a more perfect product. I enjoy Jerry's ridiculous silliness; he always keeps us laughing. Humor is a true art. Tai is a wonderful addition to our team. I have seen him inspire my human to write when the rest of us could not. He has a way of boosting her talent that is truly remarkable. All in all, yes, I love working with the other Dragon-Muses, and I'm hoping to add more to our team in the future.

Q 17: Do you have a girlfriend?
A: Please, ladies, I have no time for romance. I have Musing to do.

Q 18: Is there any truth to the rumor that a squad of Dragon-hating bears is out to get you?
A: I have heard this rumor, but so far, nothing has come of it. I will keep both of my Dragon eyes open. If the bears appear, my brothers and I will be prepared.

Q 19: Is that really your original eye color?
A: Shhhh.

Q 20: What can you tell us about Miss Campbell's writing projects?
A: Well, so far, they all contain Dragons. That's why she's awesome.


If you have had questions about me, my writer, or the other Dragon-Muses, hopefully your question was answered above. If not, feel free to ask your question in the comments.

Near Death Experiences are FUN! (By Jerund M Frazier)

Okay, so Bion doesn't think it's fair that I get to post AGAIN, but "Mom" gave me permission because I was such a good Dragon-Muse today. She offered Pneuman the option of posting since he was a good Dragon-Muse, too. He passed. His day was slightly more traumatic than mine.

Pneuman and I went with Mom to her place of work. It's a strange place with short humans who make a lot of strange noises, run around randomly, and just generally smell funny. I liked it immediately. Pneuman burrowed down into his bubblewrap lined sack muttering about how "Fair Ruth" AKA "Mom" STILL hadn't gotten him a foam-lined titanium traveling case. I stuck my nose out of the duffel bag she carried me in and tried to capture the attention of one of the short humans.

But Mom wouldn't let me out yet. She insisted on gathering the short humans around to go on an imaginary Dragon quest. It was a little annoying, if you ask me, but the kids got all excited when the imaginary Dragon started chasing them. And then...THEN she told the short humans to come meet me. She opened the bag, reached her hand in, and pretended I was eating her arm off. The short humans laughed, and so did I. Then...then....THEN she pulled me out of the bag.

Something wonderful and terrifying and fantabulous happened then. All 25 or so of the short humans MOBBED Mom and me. Mom started screaming, "You can pet Jerry once and then sit back down!" while I laughed and laughed and laughed and let all the short humans put their little fingers all over me. It was the scariest and most wonderful thing to have ever happened to me.

At snack time, Mom took Pneuman out to show the short humans. One of them almost broke him, which was pretty much hilarious. Pneuman got back in his bag and muttered to himself until Mom took us home.

Okay, so Pneuman let a FEW of the short humans pet him. And he purred. But don't tell him I told you that.

I hope Mom takes me to work again. I LIKE SHORT HUMANS!

Meet Tai (by Miss Campbell AKA the Human)

The newest member of my Dragon Muse family has arrived. Meet Tai Makarios, the Supportive Dragon. He's the Dragon who helps me through my really rough writing spots--the times when I get good and stuck. He's good at seeing weaknesses in people (and in fellow Dragons) and coming alongside them to support their efforts.

Welcome Tai!

I'm curious to see how he interacts with his brothers and how he adds to this writing/Musing team. Keep reading and watching for more from Tai and the others!

My Human ROCKS (by Jerund M Frasier)

Okay, okay, okay, so the funniest thing happened this afternoon. My human got off her writing break thing today, which was a really good thing, because all us Dragon muses were getting kind of bored. I mean, I entertained myself pretty well by stealing Bion's tail cap and hiding it in random places. Yeah, the best place to hide Bion's tail cap is on top of the happy magic box of pictures that my human calls the television machine. Bion never watches the television machine, so he forgets it exists. Then he's all like "Jerry, where's my tail!?" And I just laugh because I know he's NEVER going to find it. Then my human or Pneuman will take pity on him and find his tail cap for him and put it back on his tail. Then Bion gets pouty and tells me I'm a silly Dragon who will never amount to anything.

What was I talking about?

Oh. Oh yeah. So okay, okay, okay, so this afternoon my human was writing with the laptop on her lap and she had all us Dragon Muses around her because we're awesome. I was sitting about a foot away from her. I'd rather have been hugging her because I really REALLY like hugs. Hugs are the greatest things ever, except for elephants. I love me some elephants. Once I tried hugging an elephant, but elephants aren't for hugging; they're for breakfast.

Okay, okay, okay, so my human put me a good foot or so away from her because she said that while she needed a little silliness, she really wanted to focus more on seriously editing and rewriting one of her books. So she put Bion behind her ear. Then she put Pneuman on her shoulder. And she was typing away happily until her laptop got overheated and shut itself off. That's when the hilarity happened.

My human leaned down to unplug the laptop so it could cool down properly. She so totally forgot that Pneuman was perched on her shoulder and SHE DEFINITELY DROPPED PNEUMAN ON THE FLOOR. Pneuman's horn (which had only been fixed a few days ago) broke off AGAIN. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.

When my human picked Pneuman up, she realized that she couldn't find the piece of his horn that had broken off. SHE TOTALLY LOST PNEUMAN'S HORN! My human looked horrified, and Pneuman was beyond angry. Bion was already packing his bags so we could start looking for a new writer to Muse for. But I thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

My human leapt up and started searching everywhere for Pneuman's missing horn. She tried to pick Bion up and move him to a safer spot so HE wouldn't get broken, but he hissed at her and flew out of her reach. She looked for Pneuman's horn for like ten minutes while all the while he was shouting at her, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? WHAT KIND OF WRITER BREAKS HER MUSE'S HORN OFF TWICE IN TWO WEEKS? YOU ARE THE MOST PATHETIC HUMAN I'VE EVER SEEN." And my human was nearly in tears exclaiming, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Pneuman! I'll find it!" And he was like, "YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO FIND IT!" I just laughed and laughed and laughed.

My human sat down to take a rest after a while. She picked up a cup that she'd gotten at a coffee house earlier today. Pneuman was like, "STOP DRINKING YOUR MOCHA LATTE AND FIND MY HORN YOU WRETCHED HUMAN!" And my human started screaming back, "IT'S NOT A MOCHA LATTE, IT'S A GINGER SUN DECAF GREEN TEA, YOU HORRIBLE DRAGON BEAST!" And Bion kept flying around the room asking for a sedative. It was pretty much the most awesome thing ever.

Well, eventually, I brought back Pneuman's broken horn (which I'd cleverly hidden on top of the television machine) and everyone calmed down. My human scolded me for hiding Pneuman's horn, but she can't stay mad at me very long. She rocks in that way--and in other ways--in absolutely hilarious ways.

Pneuman has already forgiven my human, although he's still a little put off about the fact that he's having a second reconstructive surgery this week. I think my human is going to have to get really good at Dragon Muse surgery. Maybe she could put it on her resume--A. R. Campbell, Dragon Surgeon, M.D.

The M. D. stands for Mostly Disturbed.

On Being a Dragon Muse

I am a Dragon.

If that were not impressive enough, I'm also a muse. My chosen profession is the inspiration of aspiring writer A. R. Campbell.

I am not the only Dragon Muse Miss Campbell has in her arsenal. At the moment, there are three of us. I am the main muse, Pneuman Excelsior. You can see my lovely image (though the picture does not do me justice) in the title of this blog.

The other Dragon Muses who inspire Miss Campbell are Jerry, the silly Dragon, and Bion the editor. They might be posting on this blog, as well.

Miss Campbell is always looking for more muses, so there may be new Dragons in the future.

This post is just an introduction. The Dragon Muses have much to say on writing, life, and inspiration, so come back often. We promise not to eat you, unless you're a peasant.