So I came to the conclusion that my human is kind of like my mom. Just forget that she's like a bazgillion and one years YOUNGER than me. Dragons are old, yo. Most of them are, anyway. I mean, when was the last time you saw a newly hatched Dragon? I rest my case. Even if she's younger than all of us Dragon-Muses, she's still kinda sorta like our mom.
Pneuman doesn't like this analogy, and Bion gets angry every time I mention it or jokingly call my human "Mom." He thinks that it degrades Dragonkind and humankind alike to pretend that my human is my mother. Tai said he had a valid point, but he also seemed to realize that there's nothing wrong with calling our human "Mom!" in a joking manner. Then Tai proceeded to call our human "Mom" right along with me and Bion flew off and pouted in the corner.
So this is why I've started calling my human "Mom." It started the other day when she was talking to Bion, only she called him Pneuman. Bion didn't get upset, but he totally edited her mistake. She apologized, but about ten minutes later, she did it again, only it was worse. She called Bion by MY name. This time Bion got ANGRY. Even after my human apologized, he flew off and pouted in the corner.
He got over it. Eventually.
She gets our names confused. Like a Mom with more than one kid. I think it's funny.
Okay okay okay, so then this morning my human woke up and greeted me first because she'd placed me on the floor far away from her and the other muses. She said something about how I made her have silly dreams if I was too close to her while she slept. On the windowsill by her bed were Bion, Pneuman, and Tai. She greeted Pneuman, then she turned to Bion and said, "Good morning Tai." Then she turned to Tai and said, "Good morning Bi." It was then that we all had the sudden unpleasant realization that Bion and Tai have that long "I" sound in their names that's going to confuse "Mom" even more.
Bion got upset. What really cracks me up is that Bion didn't get upset that "Mom" confused his name with Tai's. As long as she doesn't confuse him with me (apparently that's an insult worth flying off and pouting in the corner over), he seems cool with her mistakes. What made him mad this time was that he heard "Mom" use a nickname that he didn't appreciate.
He got upset because he realized that his nickname was "Bi." As in bisexual. I know, I know, I shouldn't laugh. It's only funny in an elementary school lcoker room sort of way. Let's face it; even though I'm an old Dragon, I'm NEVER going to grow up. I'm not trying to be insulting to anyone here--just keeping it real (People still say that, right? I mean, people still say that apart from out of touch adults in "Twilight"...right?). I know it isn't politically correct to poke fun based on sexual orientation (not that Dragons usually CARE about being PC, but "Mom" keeps telling me it's not nice to offend other people if I can help it), but my first impulse was to laugh. And I did.
Okay okay okay so Bion didn't like his new nickname, mainly because I laughed like crazy when I first heard it. Mom tried to reason with him--I mean, he DID name himself, after all. He should have seen that one coming, ya know.
But Bion flew off to the corner and pouted.
A few minutes later I overheard him muttering to himself, "I only like girl Dragons." It was hilarious.
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