So I came to the conclusion that my human is kind of like my mom. Just forget that she's like a bazgillion and one years YOUNGER than me. Dragons are old, yo. Most of them are, anyway. I mean, when was the last time you saw a newly hatched Dragon? I rest my case. Even if she's younger than all of us Dragon-Muses, she's still kinda sorta like our mom.
Pneuman doesn't like this analogy, and Bion gets angry every time I mention it or jokingly call my human "Mom." He thinks that it degrades Dragonkind and humankind alike to pretend that my human is my mother. Tai said he had a valid point, but he also seemed to realize that there's nothing wrong with calling our human "Mom!" in a joking manner. Then Tai proceeded to call our human "Mom" right along with me and Bion flew off and pouted in the corner.
So this is why I've started calling my human "Mom." It started the other day when she was talking to Bion, only she called him Pneuman. Bion didn't get upset, but he totally edited her mistake. She apologized, but about ten minutes later, she did it again, only it was worse. She called Bion by MY name. This time Bion got ANGRY. Even after my human apologized, he flew off and pouted in the corner.
He got over it. Eventually.
She gets our names confused. Like a Mom with more than one kid. I think it's funny.
Okay okay okay, so then this morning my human woke up and greeted me first because she'd placed me on the floor far away from her and the other muses. She said something about how I made her have silly dreams if I was too close to her while she slept. On the windowsill by her bed were Bion, Pneuman, and Tai. She greeted Pneuman, then she turned to Bion and said, "Good morning Tai." Then she turned to Tai and said, "Good morning Bi." It was then that we all had the sudden unpleasant realization that Bion and Tai have that long "I" sound in their names that's going to confuse "Mom" even more.
Bion got upset. What really cracks me up is that Bion didn't get upset that "Mom" confused his name with Tai's. As long as she doesn't confuse him with me (apparently that's an insult worth flying off and pouting in the corner over), he seems cool with her mistakes. What made him mad this time was that he heard "Mom" use a nickname that he didn't appreciate.
He got upset because he realized that his nickname was "Bi." As in bisexual. I know, I know, I shouldn't laugh. It's only funny in an elementary school lcoker room sort of way. Let's face it; even though I'm an old Dragon, I'm NEVER going to grow up. I'm not trying to be insulting to anyone here--just keeping it real (People still say that, right? I mean, people still say that apart from out of touch adults in "Twilight"...right?). I know it isn't politically correct to poke fun based on sexual orientation (not that Dragons usually CARE about being PC, but "Mom" keeps telling me it's not nice to offend other people if I can help it), but my first impulse was to laugh. And I did.
Okay okay okay so Bion didn't like his new nickname, mainly because I laughed like crazy when I first heard it. Mom tried to reason with him--I mean, he DID name himself, after all. He should have seen that one coming, ya know.
But Bion flew off to the corner and pouted.
A few minutes later I overheard him muttering to himself, "I only like girl Dragons." It was hilarious.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Aptly Named (by Pneuman)
My writer once wrote (under my careful guidance, of course) that a Dragon names himself. This statement is true.
Names are of extreme importance to my human as they are to all Dragons. A name is more than just something that one is called--it's kind of like a being's meaning. What a person, or Dragon, is named is what a person, or Dragon, is. For instance, my human's full name means "Beautiful, gracious friend with a crooked mouth," which tends to fit her rather well. In my experience, writers tend to be extremely sensitive, passionate people. My writer's sensitivity provides her with a compassionate nature (as well as several unpleasant side effects which I must deal with on a daily basis--DRAMA!). She is far from perfect (believe me--she's FAR from perfect), but it seems that the Maker of all things has gifted her with the tendency to want to reach out to those who are hurting. He has gifted her with a fierce loyalty to her friends. He's also gifted her--if you choose to see it as a gift--with the inability to be dishonest. She has her moments, of course, but more often than not, she's going to tell you what she thinks, even if it hurts you. She's a lot like Bion in that way. Speaking the truth is not difficult for her, but speaking the truth IN LOVE often proves to be a challenge. It's not that she's calloused; it's just that the truth of what she thinks often slips out before she has the chance to temper it. She's a gracious friend, but she does have a crooked mouth (and she would laughingly quote Ecclesiastes here and say "who can straighten what God has made crooked?"). Though humans are named by their parents instead of themselves, my human's name fits her well.
My name, Pneuman, is one I chose for myself. I breathe my fiery inspirations into my human's ear. "Pneuman" is derived from the greek word "pneuma"--breath or inspiration. It also has to do with the idea of the Holy Spirit's work, of which I am, in a way, a physical manifestation when it comes to my human's writing. "Newman," the English name, basically just means what it sounds like: "new man." I'm not a man, but I like to think that my inspiration is new and fresh. My last name, "Excelsior," is something I chose as kind of a weird inside joke with myself and my human. King Arthur was the son of Uther Pendragon. I thought it would be funny to play on this a little, but it didn't work out as I had hoped. I toyed with a few ideas for my last name--Penhuman, Penarthur, etc. These were ridiculous--Jerry liked them, but that's Jerry for you. I eventually chose "Excalibur" because, of course, it was the name of Arthur's sword. But I didn't like the meaning, so I chose something similar--Excelsior. "Excelsior" means "ever higher." I think that's an excellent meaning. I want my inspiration and my human's work to be ever higher, ever reaching towards perfection. It's a good name; I have chosen well.
Jerry's name is mostly just silliness, which suits Jerry. He made it up out of pure ridiculousness and his love for playing with words. His full name is Jerund M Frazier. The M doesn't stand for anything; it just means M. There's no real reason for this; Jerry just wanted a random letter between his first and last name and he likes the way the letter M looks. He told me he thought it looked like a headless, tailess camel with pointy humps. Hmm. The rest of his name is a play on words. Jerund, of course, refers to a gerund--a noun ending in -ing. Frazier is a play on the word phrase. Gerund Phrase. Sigh...Musing for Miss Campbell is Jerry's favorite activity. Acting like a silly Dragon is what Jerry does best. Stealing Bion's tail cap makes Jerry laugh. Jerry likes Jerunds...I mean gerunds.
Bion's name is an interesting conglomeration of terms. He chose it carefully, which is one of the reasons he didn't desire a last name. Bion is a name that comes from the greek word "bios," which means "life." Because Bion is an Eastern Dragon, he wanted to include elements from Eastern languages into his name, too. "Bian" is the pronunciation of a chinese word that means "weaver" and can also be translated into "fabricator" or "writer." "Chongbai" is also the pronunciation of a chinese phrase that means "worship." Bion took all of this into consideration into choosing his name. He connects the idea of writing being like weaving worship into life. I like that a lot, and I think it fits Bion. He is an editor, constantly working to make things better. Those who don't know Bion well might think he's stuck up and uptight for no particular reason. But Bion is a complicated Dragon. He works very hard and is very serious about his work. To him, work and worship are inseparable. It is completely coincidental, I think, that Madeleine L'Engle, one of my human's favorite authors, named her son Bion. Completely coincidental. I think.
Now Tai, the newest Dragon to our Muse team, also used a lot of different languages to come up with his name. Please don't tell him that I told you, for he is VERY embarassed about this, but Tai is actually short for Tairone (pronounced just like Tyrone). Yeah--he named himself without really thinking that one through. Actually, he probably wouldn't care if you made fun of him for it, because Tai doesn't let things get to him very easily.
Anyway, please try to keep up, for there are several reasons that Tai(rone) chose his name. First of all, Tai was discovered by two of my human's friends (Sara and Stefanie--both very nice humans, even if Stefanie does like to dance to 90's boy band music). My human's friends described to her how the Dragon they had found was lost upon multiple occasions, left in a plastic bag inside a car for days on end (in the heat of summer, mind you--while Dragons like heat, the inside of a car in the summertime is a bit TOO stuffy for our liking), and jostled around in the inside of a large purse (the insides of those things are SCARY, let me tell you--female humans carry around a lot of strange things--my human is the WORST about that) before they were able to deliver him to my human. It was miraculous that he had survived.
Tai only laughed about this because he is used to getting out of difficult situations. He considers himself a very forunate, happy Dragon. The first meaning from which Tai derives his name comes from the greek goddess of fortune, "Tyche." The English name "Tyrone" may have been influenced by the name Eugene, which means "well born"--with the prefix "eu" meaning "good" or "well" (also Greek). Now, "Tai" is a word that means "talent" in Vietnamese and "great" or "big" in Chinese. Tai chose this particular spelling for his name because he is, like Bion, an Eastern Dragon. But despite the spelling, he chose his name incorporating all the various meanings into it. Tai named himself fortunate, good, great, talented and a help to talents--his gifts are unique. He comes alongside people (or Dragons) in their talents and helps to complete the areas where they are incomplete. He's the Support Dragon. His last name Makarios, is an interesting Greek term that means "blessed"--but it's more of in the sense of happiness or joy. He considers himself blessed (happy and well) because he is able to help others. He considers this his good fortune. It's really hard to upset Tai because he just goes with the flow and helps ease others in their difficult times. I really like having him around--even if his name is Tairone. Tairone Makarios. Yeah...just call him Tai.
I may expound upon the idea of names later on--or maybe my human will. She's obsessed with names. For now, Pneuman Excelsior, the Dragon Muse who seeks to breathe ever higher, is signing off.
Names are of extreme importance to my human as they are to all Dragons. A name is more than just something that one is called--it's kind of like a being's meaning. What a person, or Dragon, is named is what a person, or Dragon, is. For instance, my human's full name means "Beautiful, gracious friend with a crooked mouth," which tends to fit her rather well. In my experience, writers tend to be extremely sensitive, passionate people. My writer's sensitivity provides her with a compassionate nature (as well as several unpleasant side effects which I must deal with on a daily basis--DRAMA!). She is far from perfect (believe me--she's FAR from perfect), but it seems that the Maker of all things has gifted her with the tendency to want to reach out to those who are hurting. He has gifted her with a fierce loyalty to her friends. He's also gifted her--if you choose to see it as a gift--with the inability to be dishonest. She has her moments, of course, but more often than not, she's going to tell you what she thinks, even if it hurts you. She's a lot like Bion in that way. Speaking the truth is not difficult for her, but speaking the truth IN LOVE often proves to be a challenge. It's not that she's calloused; it's just that the truth of what she thinks often slips out before she has the chance to temper it. She's a gracious friend, but she does have a crooked mouth (and she would laughingly quote Ecclesiastes here and say "who can straighten what God has made crooked?"). Though humans are named by their parents instead of themselves, my human's name fits her well.
My name, Pneuman, is one I chose for myself. I breathe my fiery inspirations into my human's ear. "Pneuman" is derived from the greek word "pneuma"--breath or inspiration. It also has to do with the idea of the Holy Spirit's work, of which I am, in a way, a physical manifestation when it comes to my human's writing. "Newman," the English name, basically just means what it sounds like: "new man." I'm not a man, but I like to think that my inspiration is new and fresh. My last name, "Excelsior," is something I chose as kind of a weird inside joke with myself and my human. King Arthur was the son of Uther Pendragon. I thought it would be funny to play on this a little, but it didn't work out as I had hoped. I toyed with a few ideas for my last name--Penhuman, Penarthur, etc. These were ridiculous--Jerry liked them, but that's Jerry for you. I eventually chose "Excalibur" because, of course, it was the name of Arthur's sword. But I didn't like the meaning, so I chose something similar--Excelsior. "Excelsior" means "ever higher." I think that's an excellent meaning. I want my inspiration and my human's work to be ever higher, ever reaching towards perfection. It's a good name; I have chosen well.
Jerry's name is mostly just silliness, which suits Jerry. He made it up out of pure ridiculousness and his love for playing with words. His full name is Jerund M Frazier. The M doesn't stand for anything; it just means M. There's no real reason for this; Jerry just wanted a random letter between his first and last name and he likes the way the letter M looks. He told me he thought it looked like a headless, tailess camel with pointy humps. Hmm. The rest of his name is a play on words. Jerund, of course, refers to a gerund--a noun ending in -ing. Frazier is a play on the word phrase. Gerund Phrase. Sigh...Musing for Miss Campbell is Jerry's favorite activity. Acting like a silly Dragon is what Jerry does best. Stealing Bion's tail cap makes Jerry laugh. Jerry likes Jerunds...I mean gerunds.
Bion's name is an interesting conglomeration of terms. He chose it carefully, which is one of the reasons he didn't desire a last name. Bion is a name that comes from the greek word "bios," which means "life." Because Bion is an Eastern Dragon, he wanted to include elements from Eastern languages into his name, too. "Bian" is the pronunciation of a chinese word that means "weaver" and can also be translated into "fabricator" or "writer." "Chongbai" is also the pronunciation of a chinese phrase that means "worship." Bion took all of this into consideration into choosing his name. He connects the idea of writing being like weaving worship into life. I like that a lot, and I think it fits Bion. He is an editor, constantly working to make things better. Those who don't know Bion well might think he's stuck up and uptight for no particular reason. But Bion is a complicated Dragon. He works very hard and is very serious about his work. To him, work and worship are inseparable. It is completely coincidental, I think, that Madeleine L'Engle, one of my human's favorite authors, named her son Bion. Completely coincidental. I think.
Now Tai, the newest Dragon to our Muse team, also used a lot of different languages to come up with his name. Please don't tell him that I told you, for he is VERY embarassed about this, but Tai is actually short for Tairone (pronounced just like Tyrone). Yeah--he named himself without really thinking that one through. Actually, he probably wouldn't care if you made fun of him for it, because Tai doesn't let things get to him very easily.
Anyway, please try to keep up, for there are several reasons that Tai(rone) chose his name. First of all, Tai was discovered by two of my human's friends (Sara and Stefanie--both very nice humans, even if Stefanie does like to dance to 90's boy band music). My human's friends described to her how the Dragon they had found was lost upon multiple occasions, left in a plastic bag inside a car for days on end (in the heat of summer, mind you--while Dragons like heat, the inside of a car in the summertime is a bit TOO stuffy for our liking), and jostled around in the inside of a large purse (the insides of those things are SCARY, let me tell you--female humans carry around a lot of strange things--my human is the WORST about that) before they were able to deliver him to my human. It was miraculous that he had survived.
Tai only laughed about this because he is used to getting out of difficult situations. He considers himself a very forunate, happy Dragon. The first meaning from which Tai derives his name comes from the greek goddess of fortune, "Tyche." The English name "Tyrone" may have been influenced by the name Eugene, which means "well born"--with the prefix "eu" meaning "good" or "well" (also Greek). Now, "Tai" is a word that means "talent" in Vietnamese and "great" or "big" in Chinese. Tai chose this particular spelling for his name because he is, like Bion, an Eastern Dragon. But despite the spelling, he chose his name incorporating all the various meanings into it. Tai named himself fortunate, good, great, talented and a help to talents--his gifts are unique. He comes alongside people (or Dragons) in their talents and helps to complete the areas where they are incomplete. He's the Support Dragon. His last name Makarios, is an interesting Greek term that means "blessed"--but it's more of in the sense of happiness or joy. He considers himself blessed (happy and well) because he is able to help others. He considers this his good fortune. It's really hard to upset Tai because he just goes with the flow and helps ease others in their difficult times. I really like having him around--even if his name is Tairone. Tairone Makarios. Yeah...just call him Tai.
I may expound upon the idea of names later on--or maybe my human will. She's obsessed with names. For now, Pneuman Excelsior, the Dragon Muse who seeks to breathe ever higher, is signing off.
Meet Tai (by Miss Campbell AKA the Human)
The newest member of my Dragon Muse family has arrived. Meet Tai Makarios, the Supportive Dragon. He's the Dragon who helps me through my really rough writing spots--the times when I get good and stuck. He's good at seeing weaknesses in people (and in fellow Dragons) and coming alongside them to support their efforts.
Welcome Tai!
I'm curious to see how he interacts with his brothers and how he adds to this writing/Musing team. Keep reading and watching for more from Tai and the others!
Monday, September 13, 2010
My Human ROCKS (by Jerund M Frasier)
Okay, okay, okay, so the funniest thing happened this afternoon. My human got off her writing break thing today, which was a really good thing, because all us Dragon muses were getting kind of bored. I mean, I entertained myself pretty well by stealing Bion's tail cap and hiding it in random places. Yeah, the best place to hide Bion's tail cap is on top of the happy magic box of pictures that my human calls the television machine. Bion never watches the television machine, so he forgets it exists. Then he's all like "Jerry, where's my tail!?" And I just laugh because I know he's NEVER going to find it. Then my human or Pneuman will take pity on him and find his tail cap for him and put it back on his tail. Then Bion gets pouty and tells me I'm a silly Dragon who will never amount to anything.
What was I talking about?
Oh. Oh yeah. So okay, okay, okay, so this afternoon my human was writing with the laptop on her lap and she had all us Dragon Muses around her because we're awesome. I was sitting about a foot away from her. I'd rather have been hugging her because I really REALLY like hugs. Hugs are the greatest things ever, except for elephants. I love me some elephants. Once I tried hugging an elephant, but elephants aren't for hugging; they're for breakfast.
Okay, okay, okay, so my human put me a good foot or so away from her because she said that while she needed a little silliness, she really wanted to focus more on seriously editing and rewriting one of her books. So she put Bion behind her ear. Then she put Pneuman on her shoulder. And she was typing away happily until her laptop got overheated and shut itself off. That's when the hilarity happened.
My human leaned down to unplug the laptop so it could cool down properly. She so totally forgot that Pneuman was perched on her shoulder and SHE DEFINITELY DROPPED PNEUMAN ON THE FLOOR. Pneuman's horn (which had only been fixed a few days ago) broke off AGAIN. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.
When my human picked Pneuman up, she realized that she couldn't find the piece of his horn that had broken off. SHE TOTALLY LOST PNEUMAN'S HORN! My human looked horrified, and Pneuman was beyond angry. Bion was already packing his bags so we could start looking for a new writer to Muse for. But I thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
My human leapt up and started searching everywhere for Pneuman's missing horn. She tried to pick Bion up and move him to a safer spot so HE wouldn't get broken, but he hissed at her and flew out of her reach. She looked for Pneuman's horn for like ten minutes while all the while he was shouting at her, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? WHAT KIND OF WRITER BREAKS HER MUSE'S HORN OFF TWICE IN TWO WEEKS? YOU ARE THE MOST PATHETIC HUMAN I'VE EVER SEEN." And my human was nearly in tears exclaiming, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Pneuman! I'll find it!" And he was like, "YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO FIND IT!" I just laughed and laughed and laughed.
My human sat down to take a rest after a while. She picked up a cup that she'd gotten at a coffee house earlier today. Pneuman was like, "STOP DRINKING YOUR MOCHA LATTE AND FIND MY HORN YOU WRETCHED HUMAN!" And my human started screaming back, "IT'S NOT A MOCHA LATTE, IT'S A GINGER SUN DECAF GREEN TEA, YOU HORRIBLE DRAGON BEAST!" And Bion kept flying around the room asking for a sedative. It was pretty much the most awesome thing ever.
Well, eventually, I brought back Pneuman's broken horn (which I'd cleverly hidden on top of the television machine) and everyone calmed down. My human scolded me for hiding Pneuman's horn, but she can't stay mad at me very long. She rocks in that way--and in other ways--in absolutely hilarious ways.
Pneuman has already forgiven my human, although he's still a little put off about the fact that he's having a second reconstructive surgery this week. I think my human is going to have to get really good at Dragon Muse surgery. Maybe she could put it on her resume--A. R. Campbell, Dragon Surgeon, M.D.
The M. D. stands for Mostly Disturbed.
What was I talking about?
Oh. Oh yeah. So okay, okay, okay, so this afternoon my human was writing with the laptop on her lap and she had all us Dragon Muses around her because we're awesome. I was sitting about a foot away from her. I'd rather have been hugging her because I really REALLY like hugs. Hugs are the greatest things ever, except for elephants. I love me some elephants. Once I tried hugging an elephant, but elephants aren't for hugging; they're for breakfast.
Okay, okay, okay, so my human put me a good foot or so away from her because she said that while she needed a little silliness, she really wanted to focus more on seriously editing and rewriting one of her books. So she put Bion behind her ear. Then she put Pneuman on her shoulder. And she was typing away happily until her laptop got overheated and shut itself off. That's when the hilarity happened.
My human leaned down to unplug the laptop so it could cool down properly. She so totally forgot that Pneuman was perched on her shoulder and SHE DEFINITELY DROPPED PNEUMAN ON THE FLOOR. Pneuman's horn (which had only been fixed a few days ago) broke off AGAIN. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.
When my human picked Pneuman up, she realized that she couldn't find the piece of his horn that had broken off. SHE TOTALLY LOST PNEUMAN'S HORN! My human looked horrified, and Pneuman was beyond angry. Bion was already packing his bags so we could start looking for a new writer to Muse for. But I thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
My human leapt up and started searching everywhere for Pneuman's missing horn. She tried to pick Bion up and move him to a safer spot so HE wouldn't get broken, but he hissed at her and flew out of her reach. She looked for Pneuman's horn for like ten minutes while all the while he was shouting at her, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? WHAT KIND OF WRITER BREAKS HER MUSE'S HORN OFF TWICE IN TWO WEEKS? YOU ARE THE MOST PATHETIC HUMAN I'VE EVER SEEN." And my human was nearly in tears exclaiming, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Pneuman! I'll find it!" And he was like, "YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO FIND IT!" I just laughed and laughed and laughed.
My human sat down to take a rest after a while. She picked up a cup that she'd gotten at a coffee house earlier today. Pneuman was like, "STOP DRINKING YOUR MOCHA LATTE AND FIND MY HORN YOU WRETCHED HUMAN!" And my human started screaming back, "IT'S NOT A MOCHA LATTE, IT'S A GINGER SUN DECAF GREEN TEA, YOU HORRIBLE DRAGON BEAST!" And Bion kept flying around the room asking for a sedative. It was pretty much the most awesome thing ever.
Well, eventually, I brought back Pneuman's broken horn (which I'd cleverly hidden on top of the television machine) and everyone calmed down. My human scolded me for hiding Pneuman's horn, but she can't stay mad at me very long. She rocks in that way--and in other ways--in absolutely hilarious ways.
Pneuman has already forgiven my human, although he's still a little put off about the fact that he's having a second reconstructive surgery this week. I think my human is going to have to get really good at Dragon Muse surgery. Maybe she could put it on her resume--A. R. Campbell, Dragon Surgeon, M.D.
The M. D. stands for Mostly Disturbed.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Post-Op (by Pneuman)
I had an operation last night to repair my broken horn. What my human neglected to tell me was that SHE planned on performing the surgery HERSELF instead of hiring a legitimate Dragon surgeon. Her excuse was that it is next to impossible to find a reliable Dragon surgeon these days. She went on to say that she had sat through about half a dozen first aid training classes and thought she "could pretty much handle it."
Pretty much? PRETTY MUCH!?!?!
If SHE were having major reconstructive surgery, would SHE like it if her surgeon said, "Oh, I can pretty much handle it"?? Of course not. My human is intelligent enough, but she lacks basic common sense. Sigh. Writers.
Anyway, I protested. I wanted her to find someone to perform my surgery who had at least attended medical school for five blasted minutes. She countered this, saying that even if she could find a doctor, chances are, the doctor would know nothing about Dragons. And even if she managed to find a doctor who was comfortable and skilled enough to operate on a Dragon, it was almost certain that her insurance didn't cover Dragon Muses. I saw her point.
She also reasoned that if she could not find a Dragon doctor to perform my operation, she should find a Dragon expert. She then named herself a Dragon expert. When I challenged this claim, she said that people could become experts on any given subject if they had written a book on that given subject. As she has written three books about Dragons, she could be considered a Dragon expert.
Sigh...WRITERS!!!
At this point I was tired of arguing with her, and I just wanted my horn fixed. I set aside my reservations and allowed her to perform the surgery. It took less than ten minutes for the actual procedure, though the recovery time was overnight. The results are surprising. My human did a decent job. You can barely tell my horn was ever disconnected from my head.
My human told me I should be Musing again by Monday. I hope that's the case, because that's when she plans on resuming her writing career (she's been on a break for the past month). She's going to need her Muse.
...sigh...writers.
Pretty much? PRETTY MUCH!?!?!
If SHE were having major reconstructive surgery, would SHE like it if her surgeon said, "Oh, I can pretty much handle it"?? Of course not. My human is intelligent enough, but she lacks basic common sense. Sigh. Writers.
Anyway, I protested. I wanted her to find someone to perform my surgery who had at least attended medical school for five blasted minutes. She countered this, saying that even if she could find a doctor, chances are, the doctor would know nothing about Dragons. And even if she managed to find a doctor who was comfortable and skilled enough to operate on a Dragon, it was almost certain that her insurance didn't cover Dragon Muses. I saw her point.
She also reasoned that if she could not find a Dragon doctor to perform my operation, she should find a Dragon expert. She then named herself a Dragon expert. When I challenged this claim, she said that people could become experts on any given subject if they had written a book on that given subject. As she has written three books about Dragons, she could be considered a Dragon expert.
Sigh...WRITERS!!!
At this point I was tired of arguing with her, and I just wanted my horn fixed. I set aside my reservations and allowed her to perform the surgery. It took less than ten minutes for the actual procedure, though the recovery time was overnight. The results are surprising. My human did a decent job. You can barely tell my horn was ever disconnected from my head.
My human told me I should be Musing again by Monday. I hope that's the case, because that's when she plans on resuming her writing career (she's been on a break for the past month). She's going to need her Muse.
...sigh...writers.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Accident (by Pneuman)
My human is slightly obsessed with a fictional donkey named Eeyore. I'm not sure what her bizarre fascination with a depressed donkey, but she loves him. One of her favorite quotes is by Eeyore. "Accidents. You never have them until you're having them."
Recently, my human insisted on taking me with her when she went to visit her family. She traveled by air. Rather than letting me fly by myself (I'M A DRAGON) or letting me stay home (which is what I would have preferred), she packed me in bubble wrap (oh the humility!) and stuffed me inside her carry on. I was reluctant, but she told me it would be fine. I told her I thought I would get broken, but she said it would be fine.
There was an accident. I didn't have the accident until I had it.
It could have been worse. One of my beautiful golden and blue horns snapped off my beautiful golden and blue head. I'm not in very much pain, but I am incomplete. I am humiliated. I have adamantly refused to do any musing until my human arranges for my horn to be fixed. She has agreed to arrange for an operation, which she believes will be quite simple and successful. She believes that when the operation is completed, no one will be able to tell my horn was ever broken. I have my reservations. She says it involves some kind of unusual compound known as "super glue."
I am hesitant.
The operation will be performed shortly. I hope to be restored to my former self. One thing is certain: I will not be stuffed in anymore carry ons unless my human arranges for me to have a custom-made traveling case.
No more accidents for this Dragon.
Recently, my human insisted on taking me with her when she went to visit her family. She traveled by air. Rather than letting me fly by myself (I'M A DRAGON) or letting me stay home (which is what I would have preferred), she packed me in bubble wrap (oh the humility!) and stuffed me inside her carry on. I was reluctant, but she told me it would be fine. I told her I thought I would get broken, but she said it would be fine.
There was an accident. I didn't have the accident until I had it.
It could have been worse. One of my beautiful golden and blue horns snapped off my beautiful golden and blue head. I'm not in very much pain, but I am incomplete. I am humiliated. I have adamantly refused to do any musing until my human arranges for my horn to be fixed. She has agreed to arrange for an operation, which she believes will be quite simple and successful. She believes that when the operation is completed, no one will be able to tell my horn was ever broken. I have my reservations. She says it involves some kind of unusual compound known as "super glue."
I am hesitant.
The operation will be performed shortly. I hope to be restored to my former self. One thing is certain: I will not be stuffed in anymore carry ons unless my human arranges for me to have a custom-made traveling case.
No more accidents for this Dragon.
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