Okay, okay, okay, so the funniest thing happened this afternoon. My human got off her writing break thing today, which was a really good thing, because all us Dragon muses were getting kind of bored. I mean, I entertained myself pretty well by stealing Bion's tail cap and hiding it in random places. Yeah, the best place to hide Bion's tail cap is on top of the happy magic box of pictures that my human calls the television machine. Bion never watches the television machine, so he forgets it exists. Then he's all like "Jerry, where's my tail!?" And I just laugh because I know he's NEVER going to find it. Then my human or Pneuman will take pity on him and find his tail cap for him and put it back on his tail. Then Bion gets pouty and tells me I'm a silly Dragon who will never amount to anything.
What was I talking about?
Oh. Oh yeah. So okay, okay, okay, so this afternoon my human was writing with the laptop on her lap and she had all us Dragon Muses around her because we're awesome. I was sitting about a foot away from her. I'd rather have been hugging her because I really REALLY like hugs. Hugs are the greatest things ever, except for elephants. I love me some elephants. Once I tried hugging an elephant, but elephants aren't for hugging; they're for breakfast.
Okay, okay, okay, so my human put me a good foot or so away from her because she said that while she needed a little silliness, she really wanted to focus more on seriously editing and rewriting one of her books. So she put Bion behind her ear. Then she put Pneuman on her shoulder. And she was typing away happily until her laptop got overheated and shut itself off. That's when the hilarity happened.
My human leaned down to unplug the laptop so it could cool down properly. She so totally forgot that Pneuman was perched on her shoulder and SHE DEFINITELY DROPPED PNEUMAN ON THE FLOOR. Pneuman's horn (which had only been fixed a few days ago) broke off AGAIN. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.
When my human picked Pneuman up, she realized that she couldn't find the piece of his horn that had broken off. SHE TOTALLY LOST PNEUMAN'S HORN! My human looked horrified, and Pneuman was beyond angry. Bion was already packing his bags so we could start looking for a new writer to Muse for. But I thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
My human leapt up and started searching everywhere for Pneuman's missing horn. She tried to pick Bion up and move him to a safer spot so HE wouldn't get broken, but he hissed at her and flew out of her reach. She looked for Pneuman's horn for like ten minutes while all the while he was shouting at her, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? WHAT KIND OF WRITER BREAKS HER MUSE'S HORN OFF TWICE IN TWO WEEKS? YOU ARE THE MOST PATHETIC HUMAN I'VE EVER SEEN." And my human was nearly in tears exclaiming, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Pneuman! I'll find it!" And he was like, "YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO FIND IT!" I just laughed and laughed and laughed.
My human sat down to take a rest after a while. She picked up a cup that she'd gotten at a coffee house earlier today. Pneuman was like, "STOP DRINKING YOUR MOCHA LATTE AND FIND MY HORN YOU WRETCHED HUMAN!" And my human started screaming back, "IT'S NOT A MOCHA LATTE, IT'S A GINGER SUN DECAF GREEN TEA, YOU HORRIBLE DRAGON BEAST!" And Bion kept flying around the room asking for a sedative. It was pretty much the most awesome thing ever.
Well, eventually, I brought back Pneuman's broken horn (which I'd cleverly hidden on top of the television machine) and everyone calmed down. My human scolded me for hiding Pneuman's horn, but she can't stay mad at me very long. She rocks in that way--and in other ways--in absolutely hilarious ways.
Pneuman has already forgiven my human, although he's still a little put off about the fact that he's having a second reconstructive surgery this week. I think my human is going to have to get really good at Dragon Muse surgery. Maybe she could put it on her resume--A. R. Campbell, Dragon Surgeon, M.D.
The M. D. stands for Mostly Disturbed.
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