The Dragon-Muse Christmas Photo Shoot Incident of 2010 (by Jerry)

The more time I spend with humans, the more I really start to like their human holidays and traditions. Take Thanksgiving. I have often chased turkeys, but I never considered them to be tasty snack options. As Thanksgiving approached and I learned that turkeys were the traditional Thanksgiving food, I offered to go get "Mom" a nice fresh turkey, but she said she had already purchased a frozen one. It was already defeathered and everything. Can you imagine NOT wanting to pluck out all those lovely feathers by yourself? I mean, that's like half the fun! FEATHER FIGHT! (By the way, Bion is extremely ticklish).

So "Mom" cooked (she declined my offer to roast it via Dragon flame) up her lovely turkey, and it turned out quite nice.

We called him Mr. Sizzles.

She also had pumpkin pie, but she wouldn't let me have any. She caught me trying to steal some.

It just looks...so...tasty...

But she did let me have some cranberry sauce. What I neglected to tell "Mom" is that Dragons tend to get a little silly when they've had cranberries. In ye olden times, cranberries were actually referred to as Dragon Nip. Since both Pneuman and Tai also had some Dragon Nip...I mean, cranberry sauce, we were in for an interesting evening.

(Please note that Bion had NO cranberry sauce whatsoever. We just dragged him into our cranberry-induced silliness for the fun of it.)

Fuse bead hearts are the perfect way to say "Merry Christmas."

Pneuman "This hat clashes with my beautiful scales" Claus

Tai "Do I look like an elf or what?" Claus

Bion "GETITOFFGETITOFF" Claus

Jerry "COOL! I look like Princess Leia" Claus

GODZILLA VS. BABY JESUS!

(Please note I was heavily under the influence of cranberry sauce)

Jerry: I'm a bucket of JOY!"

Bion: Shut up, Jerry.

Serious Family Christmas Photo Attempt #1:

Jerry: Does this hat make my nostril look fat?

Serious Family Christmas Photo Attempt #2:

Bion: I don't WANT to wear the hat.

Tai: But it balances out the picture.

Bion: Believe me, there is NOTHING "balanced" about ANY of this.

Serious Family Christmas Photo Attempt #3: (Third time's the charm??)

Everyone: Merry Christmas!

Jerry: Now how about a hug!?

Bion: NO.

The End.

Thankfulness (by EVERYBODY)

The Human here. I thought it would be fun this Thanksgiving to ask all of my Dragon-Muses what they're thankful for.

Tai:
What am I thankful for? Well, this is an easy question and a difficult question. I'm thankful for pretty much everything, but I'm sure our readers want a more specific answer than that. So I guess I'll just say that I'm thankful for the ability to be thankful. I'm thankful for those times when it seems that things aren't going the way we want them to go. I'm thankful for the ability to still find something to be thankful for. I'm thankful to be able to see, in time, the way things are worked out. I'm thankful to be known by the Creator of the universe who is able to work things out while we wait for Him. There's beauty in the waiting, in the trusting, in the hoping--and I'm thankful for the ability to thankfully wait on God to bring about what He's planned.

Bion:
This might surprise you, but I'm actually thankful for Jerry. I'm thankful for Tai, Pneuman, and my human, as well, of course, but I'm particularly thankful for my brother Jerry. Yes, he annoys the fire out of me--literally. Yes, he steals my tail cap and pours hot chocolate in it for no apparent reason. Yes, he bothers me by never taking anything seriously. But I've found that we all need a little Jerry from time to time. I get caught up in my editing and work. Work and responsibility are very, very important. Sometimes, though, I forget that it's also important to rest. It's important to take a few minutes to laugh and just be the tiniest bit silly. While Jerry annoys me and will always annoy me, I must admit...well...that I kind of like the guy. I'm glad he's my brother. Don't tell him I said that.

I'm also thankful that my scales don't itch. Sometimes that happens when the weather gets colder.

Jerry:
I'm thankful for warm hugs, grape nerds, fishing lure, rabbit holes, chocolate chip cookies, Star Wars, socks, teddy bears, tarantulas, gummy bears, llamas, juggernauts, astronauts, cosmonauts, other kinds of nauts, pickled herring, coo-coo clocks, ribbons, lazer beams, gingersnaps, VCRs, drumsticks, yellow, doorbells, encyclopedias, tacos, and your mom.

Pneuman:
Well, let me see. I'm thankful for writing and for inspiration, of course. I'm thankful for every breath we're given in this beautiful life that allows us to work, write, sing, pray, laugh, dance, eat, dream, and just BE. I'm thankful for the delicate taste of a roasted peasant and the sweet scent of lavender candles. I'm thankful to be able to create and help create, to do and to encourage. I'm thankful to be truly alive.
I'm also thankful that I'm such a good looking Dragon. While no good Dragon is unattractive, I'm glad I'm exceptionally handsome.

And The Human:
I'm thankful for being able to get closer to my goals (and better define my goals) this year. I still have a long way to go, but as Tai was saying, there's something to be thankful for in the waiting. I'm thankful for all my quirky muses and for the ridiculously wonderful life that I have. I'm thankful for the serious, grown-up parts of my life, as well as the silly childlike parts. This year I've been able to see God working more than I've been able to in the past five years. It's been amazing. I'm so looking forward to Christmas and for 2011. Life is amazing and weird and unpredictable and beautiful. Even if I don't know what's going to happen to me and my writing, I know that God's working.
I'm thankful that I have food on my table, money in my bank account, a roof over my head, a car that's doing really well at the moment, friends who I can rely on when my car isn't doing so well, three jobs that involve the most incredible kids/staff ever, the bestest nieces and nephew an aunt could ask for, an amazing large family whom I can't wait to see come Christmastime, and I'm thankful to have something to work towards.
My life isn't perfect. I think that's part of what makes it interesting. I am a blessed, blessed person. I'm very thankful.

Everyone:
Happy Thanksgiving!

Bion: Jerry, STOP HUGGING ME!
Jerry: It's a Thanksgiving hug!
Bion: Oh, all right. But just for Thanksgiving. And JUST ONE HUG.

How to Train Your Human (by Pneuman)

I haven't personally seen "How to Train Your Dragon." My human went to see it and didn't take me with her because she didn't have room to smuggle both me AND her snacks into the theater (What!? No Dragons allowed? That's a ridiculous rule). She told me all about it, though. Apparently, it is her kind of movie. She's all excited about buying it for her sister's little humanlings for Christmas.

I honestly don't remember much of what she told me about it, except she said that the Dragons weren't intelligent like my "brothers" and me. She said they reminded her more of kitty cats than Dragons. I'm all right with that, artistically. Cats are interesting animals. If Dragons are going to be compared with any other animal, I suppose I'd rather it be a cat than anything else. As long as everyone realizes that Dragons are actually ancient, intelligent creatures, I don't mind people imagining them to be like other simple animals.

However, I must caution anyone reading this to never accuse a Dragon of being "trainable." On the contrary, given the fact that I am the muse and my human is the writer, I'm really the one that "trains" her to write. This is much more easily said than done.

If I had a normal human with a normal 9-5 job, I would suggest establishing a writing routine. Since my human has three jobs and a schedule that changes every week, this is impossible. Some nights she comes home feeling super and just wants to write the night away. Other nights, she comes home tired and grouchy and just wants to play on facebook before going to sleep. Sometimes she has an hour between jobs where she can pull out the laptop and write a few paragraphs. Other times, she doesn't even have time to drive to one job to the other.

Time/routine is just one of the problems I have in training my human. Since she has three jobs, she has three different responsibilities that are greater than or equal to her writing. She is constantly thinking about these three jobs and the humanlings at her three jobs, even while she's writing. She tries to console me in this by telling me that while she's at work, she's always thinking about writing, but that's not much of a consolation.

Clearly, to adequately train my human, I must rid her of her three jobs.

I think a viable solution to ridding my human of her three jobs would be to find my human a wealthy mate. However, there is a trick to this. I want my human to find a mate who is wealthy and willing to pay the bills so that she can quit her jobs and write; however, I don't want a man so attractive to her that she will focus on HIM instead of her writing.

My ideal mate for my human would be a rich older man who just needs an attractive female at his side to make him feel young and successful. Now, I've expressed this thought to my human, and she said there are names for men (and women) like that, and she doesn't want any part of it. Her ideal man would be a 27-35 year old devestatingly handsome literary agent with a Scottish and/or Australian accent, who's about 5'8 and has "mad guitar skills." Though the literary agent part would come in handy, I think a man of that sort would probably distract her from her writing more than the 3 jobs distract her from her writing.

Therefore, if any 27-35 year old devestatingly handsome literary agents with Scottish and/or Australian accents, who are about 5'8 and have "mad guitar skills" ever show romantic interest my human, I will be forced to eat them.

My human doesn't like the idea of me eating her potential suitors, but I know what's best. I am training her, after all.

I have more to say on the subject, but I must break up a fight between Jerry and Bion. Jerry is putting jujubees in Bion's tail cap...again.

FAQ (by Pneuman)

Humans ask a lot of questions. Dragons don't ask as many questions, but I think that's because Dragons have lived longer and know more than humans do. I've had several humans ask me questions regarding Dragons, writing, my writer, and other various matters. To avoid getting asked the same questions again and again, I thought I'd post the answers to some of the questions I get asked most frequently. Here they are.

Q 1. Are you a real Dragon?
A: Yes. The other Dragon-Muses and I are as real as ANY Dragon.

Q 2. Are you made out of glass/ceramic/plaster/resin/plastic?
A: Um, no. I am made out of Dragon.

Q 3. What's your favorite thing about your human?
A: She has a way of looking at the world that I find refreshing. She has a creativity that is fun to inspire. She also has marvelous taste in Dragon-Muses.

Q 4: What's your least favorite thing about your human?
A: She's disorganized and tends to veer towards emotional extremes. It's very hard for her to balance. She also drops me a lot.

Q 5: How long have you been a Dragon-Muse?
A: Since long before you were hatched, puny human.

Q 6: Do you like children?
A: Yes, but my human discourages me from eating them.

Q 7: Are you your human's pet?
A: NO! I am a Dragon-Muse. If anything, I and the other Dragon-Muses own Miss Campbell, not the other way around. She refers to us as "her" Dragon-Muses to differentiate us from other Dragon-Muses, not because we are her possessions. We do belong to her, just as she belongs to us, but is more in the sense as you would belong to your human companions. Your friends do not own you, nor do you own them, but you do belong to each other. That is how it is with my human.

Q 8: How does Dragon-Musing work? Do you write for your human?
A: I am NOT a writer. I love my human, but she, like most writers, is irrational and emotional. I do not wish to be compared with her. She is the writer, and I am the Muse. The other Dragons and I breathe inspiration into her ears--we inspire her. The ideas and words, plots and characters are what she makes of what we breathe. And what she writes is splendid.

Q 9: Your human converses with Dragons. Is your human insane?
A: Yes, but not because she converses with Dragons. She's insane because she's a writer. In fact, I think that my human should contact the editors of her thesaurus to inform them that they should include "writer" as a synonym for "lunatic" in future editions.

Q 10: Why is your human the only one who can hear you and the other Dragon-Muses talk?
A: Miss Campbell can hear us because we have chosen to be her Dragon-Muses. If you are fortunate enough to have Dragon-Muses choose to inspire you, then you will be able to hear them. I humbly suggest that anyone who ridicules Miss Campbell because she hears Dragon-Muses is simply jealous because the Dragon-Muses aren't talking to them.

Q 11: What's your favorite book?
A: The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. Smaug is rad. It is kind of sad when he dies, though.

Q 12: Do you cause fires when you sneeze?
A: Sigh. I forget to take my allergy medicine ONCE and people NEVER let me forget it...

Q 13: What's your favorite color?
A: Look at the picture of me. Now back to this blog. Now back to ME. You see the gorgeous blue color of my scales. That's it.

Q 14: What did you want to be when you were a little Dragon?
A: What every young Dragon wanted to be. Godzilla, of course.

Q 15: What does Dragon-Muse breath smell like?
A: Clean hippies.

Q 16: You're the lead Dragon-Muse. Do you like being in charge of the other Dragon-Muses?
A: I'm not technically "in charge" of them. I'm more of just the main Muse, the one that ties together all of their particular talents into one mighty breath. Each of the Dragon-Muses on our team has something unique and good to share. I enjoy Bion's truthfulness and ability to see what needs to be changed in order to produce a more perfect product. I enjoy Jerry's ridiculous silliness; he always keeps us laughing. Humor is a true art. Tai is a wonderful addition to our team. I have seen him inspire my human to write when the rest of us could not. He has a way of boosting her talent that is truly remarkable. All in all, yes, I love working with the other Dragon-Muses, and I'm hoping to add more to our team in the future.

Q 17: Do you have a girlfriend?
A: Please, ladies, I have no time for romance. I have Musing to do.

Q 18: Is there any truth to the rumor that a squad of Dragon-hating bears is out to get you?
A: I have heard this rumor, but so far, nothing has come of it. I will keep both of my Dragon eyes open. If the bears appear, my brothers and I will be prepared.

Q 19: Is that really your original eye color?
A: Shhhh.

Q 20: What can you tell us about Miss Campbell's writing projects?
A: Well, so far, they all contain Dragons. That's why she's awesome.


If you have had questions about me, my writer, or the other Dragon-Muses, hopefully your question was answered above. If not, feel free to ask your question in the comments.

Technological Magic (by Tai Makarios)

Wow. I'm writing a blog! This is awesome. I mean, look at how amazing the whole concept of blogging really is. We can type on a keyboard and words automatically appear on this apparently magical thing called a screen and with the click of a button that ONLY EXISTS on that magical screen, I can send my words onto the internet to be seen by practically anyone in the world.

My human can get a text or phone call to her cellular phone wherever she is (except for her actual apartment, for there is aparently some sort of cellular phone signal devouring beast that lives here. Jerry and I are in the process of tracking it. He seems to think tickling is the best way to make it leave, but so far we haven't been able to find it in order to tickle it.). How awesome is that? To be able to talk to another person through an apparently magical box? My human frequently speaks with her family who lives hundreds of miles away on her cell phone. She can hear what they're saying AS THEY SPEAK, and they can hear her (unless that phone signal devouring beast intercepts her voice). How ridiculous and wonderful is THAT?

And if my human gets REALLY bored and decides she doesn't want to write (we don't let her get away with that too often), she can put something called a movie into her television machine and watch something that was recorded years ago as if it were just taking place. She can even take videos of herself or of her friends and family (but not her Dragons, because we don't like our movements to be recorded--it's a Dragon thing, you wouldn't understand) that she can view years later. It's amazing.

In the olden days (I know, because I'm a Dragon and was alive then), if something happened, people actually had to travel over distances to deliver the news. Now, my human can turn on her magical television or magical radio or magical computer and see/hear the news almost as soon as it happens.

Yet I've noticed that even with all this magic, humans are impatient. My human has gotten irritated with her phone (Blasted signal devouring beast! We shall find you and tickle you until you relent!) because she get a signal to make a call or because the person she's talking to can't hear her. I have had to gently remind her that she shouldn't even be able to talk to her family who lives hundreds of miles away. It's a magical technological blessing that she can communicate with them over the phone or computer.

And if the magical electricity goes out because of a storm, WHOA, it's like the world is ending. No more computer! No more flashy television machine! No more LIGHTS! OH NO! How do humans function without magical lights?! When the sun went down in the olden days, people used candles--or they actually went to bed b/c guess what! God made dark time for sleeping!

Anyway, I'm finding that humans are ridiculous creatures. They're also quite amusing and wonderful. But I'm just so amazed at this particular moment in time to have nearly completed my first blog. And now I'm about to click the magical button on my screen by moving a cursor by touching a track pad.

Seriously...this is so cool. You humans act like it's nothing. Here it comes....click!

Near Death Experiences are FUN! (By Jerund M Frazier)

Okay, so Bion doesn't think it's fair that I get to post AGAIN, but "Mom" gave me permission because I was such a good Dragon-Muse today. She offered Pneuman the option of posting since he was a good Dragon-Muse, too. He passed. His day was slightly more traumatic than mine.

Pneuman and I went with Mom to her place of work. It's a strange place with short humans who make a lot of strange noises, run around randomly, and just generally smell funny. I liked it immediately. Pneuman burrowed down into his bubblewrap lined sack muttering about how "Fair Ruth" AKA "Mom" STILL hadn't gotten him a foam-lined titanium traveling case. I stuck my nose out of the duffel bag she carried me in and tried to capture the attention of one of the short humans.

But Mom wouldn't let me out yet. She insisted on gathering the short humans around to go on an imaginary Dragon quest. It was a little annoying, if you ask me, but the kids got all excited when the imaginary Dragon started chasing them. And then...THEN she told the short humans to come meet me. She opened the bag, reached her hand in, and pretended I was eating her arm off. The short humans laughed, and so did I. Then...then....THEN she pulled me out of the bag.

Something wonderful and terrifying and fantabulous happened then. All 25 or so of the short humans MOBBED Mom and me. Mom started screaming, "You can pet Jerry once and then sit back down!" while I laughed and laughed and laughed and let all the short humans put their little fingers all over me. It was the scariest and most wonderful thing to have ever happened to me.

At snack time, Mom took Pneuman out to show the short humans. One of them almost broke him, which was pretty much hilarious. Pneuman got back in his bag and muttered to himself until Mom took us home.

Okay, so Pneuman let a FEW of the short humans pet him. And he purred. But don't tell him I told you that.

I hope Mom takes me to work again. I LIKE SHORT HUMANS!

Nobody Puts Bion in the Corner! (by Jerund M Frazier)

So I came to the conclusion that my human is kind of like my mom. Just forget that she's like a bazgillion and one years YOUNGER than me. Dragons are old, yo. Most of them are, anyway. I mean, when was the last time you saw a newly hatched Dragon? I rest my case. Even if she's younger than all of us Dragon-Muses, she's still kinda sorta like our mom.

Pneuman doesn't like this analogy, and Bion gets angry every time I mention it or jokingly call my human "Mom." He thinks that it degrades Dragonkind and humankind alike to pretend that my human is my mother. Tai said he had a valid point, but he also seemed to realize that there's nothing wrong with calling our human "Mom!" in a joking manner. Then Tai proceeded to call our human "Mom" right along with me and Bion flew off and pouted in the corner.

So this is why I've started calling my human "Mom." It started the other day when she was talking to Bion, only she called him Pneuman. Bion didn't get upset, but he totally edited her mistake. She apologized, but about ten minutes later, she did it again, only it was worse. She called Bion by MY name. This time Bion got ANGRY. Even after my human apologized, he flew off and pouted in the corner.

He got over it. Eventually.

She gets our names confused. Like a Mom with more than one kid. I think it's funny.

Okay okay okay, so then this morning my human woke up and greeted me first because she'd placed me on the floor far away from her and the other muses. She said something about how I made her have silly dreams if I was too close to her while she slept. On the windowsill by her bed were Bion, Pneuman, and Tai. She greeted Pneuman, then she turned to Bion and said, "Good morning Tai." Then she turned to Tai and said, "Good morning Bi." It was then that we all had the sudden unpleasant realization that Bion and Tai have that long "I" sound in their names that's going to confuse "Mom" even more.

Bion got upset. What really cracks me up is that Bion didn't get upset that "Mom" confused his name with Tai's. As long as she doesn't confuse him with me (apparently that's an insult worth flying off and pouting in the corner over), he seems cool with her mistakes. What made him mad this time was that he heard "Mom" use a nickname that he didn't appreciate.

He got upset because he realized that his nickname was "Bi." As in bisexual. I know, I know, I shouldn't laugh. It's only funny in an elementary school lcoker room sort of way. Let's face it; even though I'm an old Dragon, I'm NEVER going to grow up. I'm not trying to be insulting to anyone here--just keeping it real (People still say that, right? I mean, people still say that apart from out of touch adults in "Twilight"...right?). I know it isn't politically correct to poke fun based on sexual orientation (not that Dragons usually CARE about being PC, but "Mom" keeps telling me it's not nice to offend other people if I can help it), but my first impulse was to laugh. And I did.

Okay okay okay so Bion didn't like his new nickname, mainly because I laughed like crazy when I first heard it. Mom tried to reason with him--I mean, he DID name himself, after all. He should have seen that one coming, ya know.

But Bion flew off to the corner and pouted.

A few minutes later I overheard him muttering to himself, "I only like girl Dragons." It was hilarious.

Aptly Named (by Pneuman)

My writer once wrote (under my careful guidance, of course) that a Dragon names himself. This statement is true.

Names are of extreme importance to my human as they are to all Dragons. A name is more than just something that one is called--it's kind of like a being's meaning. What a person, or Dragon, is named is what a person, or Dragon, is. For instance, my human's full name means "Beautiful, gracious friend with a crooked mouth," which tends to fit her rather well. In my experience, writers tend to be extremely sensitive, passionate people. My writer's sensitivity provides her with a compassionate nature (as well as several unpleasant side effects which I must deal with on a daily basis--DRAMA!). She is far from perfect (believe me--she's FAR from perfect), but it seems that the Maker of all things has gifted her with the tendency to want to reach out to those who are hurting. He has gifted her with a fierce loyalty to her friends. He's also gifted her--if you choose to see it as a gift--with the inability to be dishonest. She has her moments, of course, but more often than not, she's going to tell you what she thinks, even if it hurts you. She's a lot like Bion in that way. Speaking the truth is not difficult for her, but speaking the truth IN LOVE often proves to be a challenge. It's not that she's calloused; it's just that the truth of what she thinks often slips out before she has the chance to temper it. She's a gracious friend, but she does have a crooked mouth (and she would laughingly quote Ecclesiastes here and say "who can straighten what God has made crooked?"). Though humans are named by their parents instead of themselves, my human's name fits her well.

My name, Pneuman, is one I chose for myself. I breathe my fiery inspirations into my human's ear. "Pneuman" is derived from the greek word "pneuma"--breath or inspiration. It also has to do with the idea of the Holy Spirit's work, of which I am, in a way, a physical manifestation when it comes to my human's writing. "Newman," the English name, basically just means what it sounds like: "new man." I'm not a man, but I like to think that my inspiration is new and fresh. My last name, "Excelsior," is something I chose as kind of a weird inside joke with myself and my human. King Arthur was the son of Uther Pendragon. I thought it would be funny to play on this a little, but it didn't work out as I had hoped. I toyed with a few ideas for my last name--Penhuman, Penarthur, etc. These were ridiculous--Jerry liked them, but that's Jerry for you. I eventually chose "Excalibur" because, of course, it was the name of Arthur's sword. But I didn't like the meaning, so I chose something similar--Excelsior. "Excelsior" means "ever higher." I think that's an excellent meaning. I want my inspiration and my human's work to be ever higher, ever reaching towards perfection. It's a good name; I have chosen well.

Jerry's name is mostly just silliness, which suits Jerry. He made it up out of pure ridiculousness and his love for playing with words. His full name is Jerund M Frazier. The M doesn't stand for anything; it just means M. There's no real reason for this; Jerry just wanted a random letter between his first and last name and he likes the way the letter M looks. He told me he thought it looked like a headless, tailess camel with pointy humps. Hmm. The rest of his name is a play on words. Jerund, of course, refers to a gerund--a noun ending in -ing. Frazier is a play on the word phrase. Gerund Phrase. Sigh...Musing for Miss Campbell is Jerry's favorite activity. Acting like a silly Dragon is what Jerry does best. Stealing Bion's tail cap makes Jerry laugh. Jerry likes Jerunds...I mean gerunds.

Bion's name is an interesting conglomeration of terms. He chose it carefully, which is one of the reasons he didn't desire a last name. Bion is a name that comes from the greek word "bios," which means "life." Because Bion is an Eastern Dragon, he wanted to include elements from Eastern languages into his name, too. "Bian" is the pronunciation of a chinese word that means "weaver" and can also be translated into "fabricator" or "writer." "Chongbai" is also the pronunciation of a chinese phrase that means "worship." Bion took all of this into consideration into choosing his name. He connects the idea of writing being like weaving worship into life. I like that a lot, and I think it fits Bion. He is an editor, constantly working to make things better. Those who don't know Bion well might think he's stuck up and uptight for no particular reason. But Bion is a complicated Dragon. He works very hard and is very serious about his work. To him, work and worship are inseparable. It is completely coincidental, I think, that Madeleine L'Engle, one of my human's favorite authors, named her son Bion. Completely coincidental. I think.

Now Tai, the newest Dragon to our Muse team, also used a lot of different languages to come up with his name. Please don't tell him that I told you, for he is VERY embarassed about this, but Tai is actually short for Tairone (pronounced just like Tyrone). Yeah--he named himself without really thinking that one through. Actually, he probably wouldn't care if you made fun of him for it, because Tai doesn't let things get to him very easily.

Anyway, please try to keep up, for there are several reasons that Tai(rone) chose his name. First of all, Tai was discovered by two of my human's friends (Sara and Stefanie--both very nice humans, even if Stefanie does like to dance to 90's boy band music). My human's friends described to her how the Dragon they had found was lost upon multiple occasions, left in a plastic bag inside a car for days on end (in the heat of summer, mind you--while Dragons like heat, the inside of a car in the summertime is a bit TOO stuffy for our liking), and jostled around in the inside of a large purse (the insides of those things are SCARY, let me tell you--female humans carry around a lot of strange things--my human is the WORST about that) before they were able to deliver him to my human. It was miraculous that he had survived.

Tai only laughed about this because he is used to getting out of difficult situations. He considers himself a very forunate, happy Dragon. The first meaning from which Tai derives his name comes from the greek goddess of fortune, "Tyche." The English name "Tyrone" may have been influenced by the name Eugene, which means "well born"--with the prefix "eu" meaning "good" or "well" (also Greek). Now, "Tai" is a word that means "talent" in Vietnamese and "great" or "big" in Chinese. Tai chose this particular spelling for his name because he is, like Bion, an Eastern Dragon. But despite the spelling, he chose his name incorporating all the various meanings into it. Tai named himself fortunate, good, great, talented and a help to talents--his gifts are unique. He comes alongside people (or Dragons) in their talents and helps to complete the areas where they are incomplete. He's the Support Dragon. His last name Makarios, is an interesting Greek term that means "blessed"--but it's more of in the sense of happiness or joy. He considers himself blessed (happy and well) because he is able to help others. He considers this his good fortune. It's really hard to upset Tai because he just goes with the flow and helps ease others in their difficult times. I really like having him around--even if his name is Tairone. Tairone Makarios. Yeah...just call him Tai.

I may expound upon the idea of names later on--or maybe my human will. She's obsessed with names. For now, Pneuman Excelsior, the Dragon Muse who seeks to breathe ever higher, is signing off.

Meet Tai (by Miss Campbell AKA the Human)

The newest member of my Dragon Muse family has arrived. Meet Tai Makarios, the Supportive Dragon. He's the Dragon who helps me through my really rough writing spots--the times when I get good and stuck. He's good at seeing weaknesses in people (and in fellow Dragons) and coming alongside them to support their efforts.

Welcome Tai!

I'm curious to see how he interacts with his brothers and how he adds to this writing/Musing team. Keep reading and watching for more from Tai and the others!

My Human ROCKS (by Jerund M Frasier)

Okay, okay, okay, so the funniest thing happened this afternoon. My human got off her writing break thing today, which was a really good thing, because all us Dragon muses were getting kind of bored. I mean, I entertained myself pretty well by stealing Bion's tail cap and hiding it in random places. Yeah, the best place to hide Bion's tail cap is on top of the happy magic box of pictures that my human calls the television machine. Bion never watches the television machine, so he forgets it exists. Then he's all like "Jerry, where's my tail!?" And I just laugh because I know he's NEVER going to find it. Then my human or Pneuman will take pity on him and find his tail cap for him and put it back on his tail. Then Bion gets pouty and tells me I'm a silly Dragon who will never amount to anything.

What was I talking about?

Oh. Oh yeah. So okay, okay, okay, so this afternoon my human was writing with the laptop on her lap and she had all us Dragon Muses around her because we're awesome. I was sitting about a foot away from her. I'd rather have been hugging her because I really REALLY like hugs. Hugs are the greatest things ever, except for elephants. I love me some elephants. Once I tried hugging an elephant, but elephants aren't for hugging; they're for breakfast.

Okay, okay, okay, so my human put me a good foot or so away from her because she said that while she needed a little silliness, she really wanted to focus more on seriously editing and rewriting one of her books. So she put Bion behind her ear. Then she put Pneuman on her shoulder. And she was typing away happily until her laptop got overheated and shut itself off. That's when the hilarity happened.

My human leaned down to unplug the laptop so it could cool down properly. She so totally forgot that Pneuman was perched on her shoulder and SHE DEFINITELY DROPPED PNEUMAN ON THE FLOOR. Pneuman's horn (which had only been fixed a few days ago) broke off AGAIN. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.

When my human picked Pneuman up, she realized that she couldn't find the piece of his horn that had broken off. SHE TOTALLY LOST PNEUMAN'S HORN! My human looked horrified, and Pneuman was beyond angry. Bion was already packing his bags so we could start looking for a new writer to Muse for. But I thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

My human leapt up and started searching everywhere for Pneuman's missing horn. She tried to pick Bion up and move him to a safer spot so HE wouldn't get broken, but he hissed at her and flew out of her reach. She looked for Pneuman's horn for like ten minutes while all the while he was shouting at her, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? WHAT KIND OF WRITER BREAKS HER MUSE'S HORN OFF TWICE IN TWO WEEKS? YOU ARE THE MOST PATHETIC HUMAN I'VE EVER SEEN." And my human was nearly in tears exclaiming, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Pneuman! I'll find it!" And he was like, "YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO FIND IT!" I just laughed and laughed and laughed.

My human sat down to take a rest after a while. She picked up a cup that she'd gotten at a coffee house earlier today. Pneuman was like, "STOP DRINKING YOUR MOCHA LATTE AND FIND MY HORN YOU WRETCHED HUMAN!" And my human started screaming back, "IT'S NOT A MOCHA LATTE, IT'S A GINGER SUN DECAF GREEN TEA, YOU HORRIBLE DRAGON BEAST!" And Bion kept flying around the room asking for a sedative. It was pretty much the most awesome thing ever.

Well, eventually, I brought back Pneuman's broken horn (which I'd cleverly hidden on top of the television machine) and everyone calmed down. My human scolded me for hiding Pneuman's horn, but she can't stay mad at me very long. She rocks in that way--and in other ways--in absolutely hilarious ways.

Pneuman has already forgiven my human, although he's still a little put off about the fact that he's having a second reconstructive surgery this week. I think my human is going to have to get really good at Dragon Muse surgery. Maybe she could put it on her resume--A. R. Campbell, Dragon Surgeon, M.D.

The M. D. stands for Mostly Disturbed.

Post-Op (by Pneuman)

I had an operation last night to repair my broken horn. What my human neglected to tell me was that SHE planned on performing the surgery HERSELF instead of hiring a legitimate Dragon surgeon. Her excuse was that it is next to impossible to find a reliable Dragon surgeon these days. She went on to say that she had sat through about half a dozen first aid training classes and thought she "could pretty much handle it."

Pretty much? PRETTY MUCH!?!?!

If SHE were having major reconstructive surgery, would SHE like it if her surgeon said, "Oh, I can pretty much handle it"?? Of course not. My human is intelligent enough, but she lacks basic common sense. Sigh. Writers.

Anyway, I protested. I wanted her to find someone to perform my surgery who had at least attended medical school for five blasted minutes. She countered this, saying that even if she could find a doctor, chances are, the doctor would know nothing about Dragons. And even if she managed to find a doctor who was comfortable and skilled enough to operate on a Dragon, it was almost certain that her insurance didn't cover Dragon Muses. I saw her point.

She also reasoned that if she could not find a Dragon doctor to perform my operation, she should find a Dragon expert. She then named herself a Dragon expert. When I challenged this claim, she said that people could become experts on any given subject if they had written a book on that given subject. As she has written three books about Dragons, she could be considered a Dragon expert.

Sigh...WRITERS!!!

At this point I was tired of arguing with her, and I just wanted my horn fixed. I set aside my reservations and allowed her to perform the surgery. It took less than ten minutes for the actual procedure, though the recovery time was overnight. The results are surprising. My human did a decent job. You can barely tell my horn was ever disconnected from my head.

My human told me I should be Musing again by Monday. I hope that's the case, because that's when she plans on resuming her writing career (she's been on a break for the past month). She's going to need her Muse.

...sigh...writers.

The Accident (by Pneuman)

My human is slightly obsessed with a fictional donkey named Eeyore. I'm not sure what her bizarre fascination with a depressed donkey, but she loves him. One of her favorite quotes is by Eeyore. "Accidents. You never have them until you're having them."

Recently, my human insisted on taking me with her when she went to visit her family. She traveled by air. Rather than letting me fly by myself (I'M A DRAGON) or letting me stay home (which is what I would have preferred), she packed me in bubble wrap (oh the humility!) and stuffed me inside her carry on. I was reluctant, but she told me it would be fine. I told her I thought I would get broken, but she said it would be fine.

There was an accident. I didn't have the accident until I had it.

It could have been worse. One of my beautiful golden and blue horns snapped off my beautiful golden and blue head. I'm not in very much pain, but I am incomplete. I am humiliated. I have adamantly refused to do any musing until my human arranges for my horn to be fixed. She has agreed to arrange for an operation, which she believes will be quite simple and successful. She believes that when the operation is completed, no one will be able to tell my horn was ever broken. I have my reservations. She says it involves some kind of unusual compound known as "super glue."



I am hesitant.



The operation will be performed shortly. I hope to be restored to my former self. One thing is certain: I will not be stuffed in anymore carry ons unless my human arranges for me to have a custom-made traveling case.

No more accidents for this Dragon.

Wounds From a Friend (by Bion)

Pneuman and Jerry both work pretty hard--well, at least Pneuman does. Jerry mainly just puts stickers on his eyelids and starts singing showtunes...and then he hugs me for no apparent reason. But I've seen Pneuman and my human struggle through some fairly difficult plots and characterizations. Writing is difficult work.

What most people don't realize is that editing is even more difficult than writing. Of all my human's muses, I, Bion, am probably the one who works the hardest. I'm also the one who gets the least amount of gratitude. After all, who wants to thank someone for tearing apart what they've written and telling them to do it over?

Miss Campbell has often said that she hates editing. I understand that she doesn't mean that she hates me. My human isn't wise as Dragons go, but she is a wise enough human to understand that editing is necessary, even if it's unpleasant. If I were to let her get away with some of the drivel she and Pneuman write, she really might hate me. I edit her work because I want it--and her--to be the best possible. I edit, not because I am heartless, but because I care.

Another thing that Miss Campbell has often said is that she appreciates my honesty, even when it hurts. I think my writer has a good grasp of reality. I, too, am a realist. Realists are often misunderstood. Both my human and I know that ignoring a problem or hiding an unpleasant truth are not kindnesses. To quote a proverb, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (Proverbs 27:6)" I don't like telling my human to fix part of her plot or change one of her characters; I know it hurts her. But if I were to neglect to help her edit because I didn't want to hurt her, I would be a poor friend. Sometimes a person--or a Dragon--must tear down in order to build up. Miss Campbell knows this, and even if she doesn't always like what I have to tell her, she trusts me.

I'm very well aware of the fact that my fellow Dragon Muses think I'm uptight, but they also understand that I have a high calling. I'm the friend who wounds: the editor. Without me, my human's writing would be less than what it could be.

The Importance of the Physical

Right now, my writer is taking a break. I'm a very bored Dragon Muse. While she's not writing, I'm not truly musing. I'm still Dragoning. I can't very well stop Dragoning.

My writer is reading some C. S. Lewis right now, and she was kind enough to let me sit on her tummy while reading. It was a pleasant time for both of us, even if I wasn't busy inspiring her. While I've been with my writer for some time, my physical presence has only been with her for a few days. I've realized how important the physical actually is.

While Dragons don't feel this as deeply as humans, I think that both of our kind has a strong desire for something they can feel and touch. While it is not necessary for humankind or Dragonkind to have something we can feel and touch, it is very much wanted.

In the time I have known my writer, I realize she draws great comfort and connection from calling her family on the telephone. She lives far away from them. It would take her ten hours in a car, a few hours in an airplane, or a good half hour on a Dragon flight to see them. Since it is not practical for her to fly with me (what would the neighbors think?), she is not able to visit her family as often as she would like. The phone call is comforting, but it is not what she wants. She wants to be able to physically be with her family. She wants her mother's embrace. She wants to be able to tickle her nieces and nephew. She wants to arm wrestle her brother. While she is with her family, she savors their physical presence. That's how people, and Dragons, were made.

So while I have mentally and emotionally been my writer's muse for several years, my physical Dragon form has not been with her. I've found that our connection has deepened in the past few days since I have been physically present with her. There is something soothing about being with her, and not just a voice inside her head.

But on a side note, I hope she finishes this writing break soon. I want to get back to musing and not just Dragoning.

On Being a Dragon Muse

I am a Dragon.

If that were not impressive enough, I'm also a muse. My chosen profession is the inspiration of aspiring writer A. R. Campbell.

I am not the only Dragon Muse Miss Campbell has in her arsenal. At the moment, there are three of us. I am the main muse, Pneuman Excelsior. You can see my lovely image (though the picture does not do me justice) in the title of this blog.

The other Dragon Muses who inspire Miss Campbell are Jerry, the silly Dragon, and Bion the editor. They might be posting on this blog, as well.

Miss Campbell is always looking for more muses, so there may be new Dragons in the future.

This post is just an introduction. The Dragon Muses have much to say on writing, life, and inspiration, so come back often. We promise not to eat you, unless you're a peasant.